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Posts by Ashley Pincott:

Ashley talks about 5 ways to heal from a narcissistic relationship

Are You In A Narcissistic Relationship? How To Break Free From An Energy Vampire And Heal Your Heart

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Are you in a narcissistic relationship? If so, now is the time to get out.

A narcissist is someone who exaggerates his or her achievements or talents, requires constant admiration, has the inability to recognize the needs of others, and uses people for his or her own gain.

In my personal experience, being with one makes you lose your sense of self, to the point where you question everything about who you are as a human being.

Luckily, I was able to find my wings again, and so can you.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Healing from a narcissistic relationship is a process.

It’s hard to walk away from a narcissist. I’ve been there. I was a victim of a narcissistic relationship pattern for 7 years. It’s fair to say that I was addicted to the relationship, to the point where I thought I was nothing without him. That’s what a narcissist makes you believe.

He strung me along with intermittent levels of false hope. My guy liked to mix in loving words and beautiful acts of kindness with cutting-edge remarks about why I wasn’t good enough. He made me believe that if I behaved in the “ideal fashion,” that he would love me for me. What a lie that ended up being.

To this day, I’m still embarrassed by how weak I was. Why couldn’t I have just been strong enough to stand up for myself? How could I have let someone hurt me so badly? These stories played out in my head, on repeat.

After years of learning and unlearning about this disease, I now know why I felt so helpless and lacking in control for all those years. I’ve forgiven myself. It’s okay that I stayed for so long. I wasn’t informed. As they say, you’ve got to go through it to get to the end of it. That’s exactly what I did.

I sat with my pain and worked through the shame, guilt, and heartbreak. Over time, I understood what it meant to be an empath and how I could protect my energy moving forward. I always knew that I would get through it one day.

This required remembering who the real Ashley was, pre-narcissistic relationship.

Ask any empath and they will tell you about their experience with a narcissist, and the toll that it took on their life. An empath is a giver, while a narcissist is a taker. The combination is an addictive disaster waiting to happen. Narcissists LOVE empaths. They pray on them and latch onto their loving, soft and gentle nature. Doing so feeds their ego, leaving the empath feeling like he/she has done something wrong.

In their search to fix the other person and see the good in everyone, the empath slowly loses themselves in this twisted love affair to the point where their energy is sucked away. They become mentally and emotionally exhausted, to the point where you lose themselves.

In many relationships that come to a close, once people’s psychological immune system has kicked in, there comes a moment of detachment. There is a feeling of being ready to let go and start fresh. This never happens in a narcissistic relationship.

Instead, there is a feeling of being shocked, to the point where everything that you knew about your connection to the person is gone. Oftentimes, the empath falls into the trap of thinking ruminative thoughts, to the point where they think everything was their fault.

You don’t have to feel powerless for one moment longer. Trust that healing will make you a more whole, aware, cohesive and self-loving person. After all, you’ve always deserved a warm and healthy relationship.

Here are 5 ways to heal from a narcissistic relationship.

1. Cut off All Communication with Your Ex

This is the one piece of advice that I didn’t listen to. I firmly believe that it was the primary reason why my pain lasted so much longer than it should have. A narcissist will always try to suck you back into their web of lies and deception.

They are skilled at catching you off guard, giving false promises, and projecting their emotional baggage onto you. The only way to rid yourself of this toxicity is to remove yourself from the equation. This is the moment at which you take back your power. You feel it in your soul.

Block the narcissist from all forms of communication. Whatever you need to do in order to start the process of getting yourself back. You will know when you have hit your emotional threshold. It will be the point at which you are ready to create healthy boundaries.

2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

I have found that the only way of getting through the healing process is to be open to the grieving process. Breaking free from a narcissist will require that you go through the five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

It’s not a linear experience for everyone. Some people get stuck in denial for years, while others struggle to move past anger. I encourage you to feel everything. Don’t hold back. Emotions, both good and bad, are there for a reason. I found my biggest challenge to be grieving the woman that I left behind, prior to my narcissistic relationship.

As you shift from a state of confusion to clarity, it might feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable to experience the kind of calm that you are supposed to have in the first place. However, in due time, you will find yourself transforming into an even better version of yourself than you were before the pain. Don’t give up.

3. Accept and Forgive Yourself

Admitting that you are in love with a narcissist isn’t easy. As hard as the situation may be, the first step to healing is to accept that you are or were in a relationship with one. You didn’t cause this train wreck of emotions. It’s not your fault.

In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz, “When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.”

As you begin the process of deconstructing what transpired, you will see that blaming yourself just doesn’t make sense. Recognize that you were in a relationship with someone that is not only sick but also not deserving of your time and energy.

Yes, you chose to be with this person and you fought hard to make it work, but it’s time to walk away. You’ve got to recognize that charm and persuasion are the top personality traits of a narcissist. They are captivating. It feels good to have someone promise you the world, look into your eyes and tell you how amazing you are. That is until they drag you through the mud one minute later.

Educate yourself about narcissism. Read books, listen to a podcast, take a course, anything that will give you more clarity about this disease. As you do, you will realize that there is nothing you could have done.

4. Cleanse Your Mind, Body, and Soul

Once you’ve rid yourself of a narcissist, now it’s time to remove the toxicity of them from your system. The best thing that you can do is externalize your present state. Journal about your experience, seek out a therapist or coach or talk to a friend who has been in your shoes. Even better, create a support group. There are so many women out there who have fallen victim to a narcissist.

I have found that one of the most powerful ways to help clear the mind and body of toxic energy is through a powerful movement practice that allows you to sweat and release. Things like dance, yoga, and deep breathing exercises provide you with the opportunity to find your way back to yourself. Move the stale energy in your body by reigniting the fire that lies dormant inside of you. Extreme self-care is the name of the game.

5. Reignite Your Passions

A critical step in regaining your sense of self is to reignite your passions and embrace the newness of things. Doing so allows you to shift out of victim mentality and become a victor again.

Research shows that changing your environment enhances your mindfulness. Trying new things builds new neuropathways in your brain, which allows you to shift your focus from the hurtful past to the exciting future, on impulse.

Even though I felt like curling in a ball and crying most days, I forced myself to focus on work that was meaningful and that brought me joy. Doing so helped accelerate my healing process. By consciously stopping myself from dwelling on the past, I was able to catapult myself towards the future. Was it easy? Hell no.

There were many days when I would revert back to old patterns of thinking. Whenever I did this, I would actively redirect my energy to the positive aspects of my life that I was proud of. Do what you love with whom you love. Trust me when I say that it makes the emotional blows so much easier to handle.

 Life after a narcissistic relationship is possible if you ready to let go.

If you find yourself in a co-dependent relationship with a narcissist, the best solution is to leave. It was never your job to fix anyone. Instead, focus on loving yourself and the rest will fall into place.

As someone once said, “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

Now is the time to walk away from this toxic energy and put back together the pieces of your broken heart. Are you ready?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley talks about 6 reasons why rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you

5 Reasons Why Hitting Rock Bottom Is The Best Thing That Can Ever Happen To You

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Hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you.

Upon first glance, this statement makes zero sense, but hear me out. Sometimes you need to hit your emotional threshold and lose everything in order to realize that you are ready to change your life.

If you don’t try to rise up after hitting rock bottom, then it is likely that you will remain there forever. Trust me when I say that this is nowhere that you want to be.

In the words of Michelle Parsons, “Hitting rock bottom doesn’t mean that you have to stay there.” Are you ready to learn 5 reasons why rock bottom is the foundation upon which you can rebuild your life?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

When you hit rock bottom, you know.

You can feel it in your entire body. At least that’s how it presented for me when my life crumbled before my eyes. It started with a life-threatening car accident that left me in the hospital with a broken back. At that moment, my entire life changed. The doctors told me that I may never be able to walk again and that the best thing that I could do was adjust to my new reality.

I felt broken, but there was something inside of me that kept saying, “Don’t give up.” That’s exactly what I didn’t do. Rock bottom was the place from which I found my wings again, but I had to create that reality.

Life presented me with the challenge, which I saw as an opportunity to take my life to another level. This is supported by research from the University of Notre Dame found that bottoming out can be a catalyst for personal transformation.

Let’s face it… life doesn’t always care about our plans. Situations can get out of control. In life, you will be faced with dark times that test your resilience. The great news is that you do not have to stay at the bottom. Just as fast as you fall, you can slowly start the climb back to awesomeness. Do whatever it takes to succeed.

Challenges are nothing more than lessons to be learned. When you know how to use them to your advantage, you win no matter what. I’ve always believed that there is only one way out of fear and sadness, and that is going through it. This mindset has served me well.

Here are 5 reasons why hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you.

1. You Reinvent Yourself

Rock bottom provides you with an opportunity to reinvent yourself and reassess everything in your life: your job, your family, your goals, and/or your dreams. Are there changes you need to make? Are there things you kept putting off that hinder you from reaching your potential?

A rock-bottom situation gives you a clean slate, allowing you a new lot on life. You are forced to let go of the past go, start fresh and become a newer, more badass version of your current self.

When I’ve been at my lowest moments in life, I’ve been forced to go inward and engage in a careful process of introspection about who I am and what’s important to me. Almost losing my ability to walk was a game changer for me.

By getting through those difficult times, I felt like I had been given a second chance on life. In many ways, it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it brought me into the world of yoga, which ended up saving my life. Everything happens for a reason. Believe it.

2. You Become More Compassionate Towards Others

During distressing times, it’s easy to become selfish and insensitive to the needs of others. Focusing on yourself and your problems becomes a top priority. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take care of yourself, but it’s important to take a look at the bigger picture.

Pain is pain, no matter how you look at it. All of us are going through something, big and small. There is one thing that I know for sure… there will always be someone else that has it worse off than you.

When you hit rock bottom, you feel everything, and in doing so, you become more in tune to the feelings of others. makes us more empathic towards others. You begin to understand what it’s like for people who are struggling with pain, fear, and shame.

By putting yourself in others’ shoes, you will naturally be inclined to support others, knowing that we all in this together. If you can help someone find light amidst the dark times, you will feel fulfilled beyond belief.

3. You Become More Resilient

Once you’ve risen from the ashes, you will look forward to the future with a stronger resolve to make it better. At the heart of resilience is a belief in oneself—yet also a belief in something larger than oneself. Resilient people are brave, wise, and fearless. That is what you are.

Overcoming obstacles and challenges will only boost your confidence and strengthen your willpower, proving that there is nothing that you can’t handle. It doesn’t matter how hard you fall. All that matters is that you get back up again, wipe away your tears and keep pushing forward.

In the words of George S. Patton, “The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” 

4. You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Sometimes you need to shake things up and hit rock bottom in order to transform your life. At first, everything may seem foreign to you, and that’s OK. This means that you are slowly exiting your comfort zone and entering into a big, new world. Stretching yourself provides opportunities for massive growth. This is where the real magic lies.

What have you always wanted to do that you’ve been too scared to try? Start that online business. Lose that weight. Book that flight. Learn something new, improve your skills, take on a new hobby, meet new people, explore a new place. By exposing yourself to different ways of thinking, you will learn things about yourself that you never knew before.

Now is the time to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself. Will it be scary? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes. Be open to anything and everything.

5. You Become Grateful For The Dark Times

Think back to some of the worst times in your life. The worst has happened, and yet you are still standing. Not only did you survive, but you thrived through it.

Once you have conquered the unthinkable, you become more grateful for the simple things in life. You are able to see life’s lessons as gifts that only serve to empower you. The decision to not quit proves that you are capable of anything. What are you grateful for?

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. It’s up to you to find it.

Sometimes you’ve got to lose everything in order to find yourself again. Life will shit on your parade. That’s a fact. It’s up to you how you will respond. No matter how bad things get, don’t ever give up on yourself. When you are at the bottom, you can’t go any further down. The only way is up.

In the words of Justin Kanayurak,  “Once you hit rock bottom, that’s where you perfectly stand; That’s your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.” Are you ready to start climbing?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley talks about why living a simple life is the best way to live

Living A Simple Life: How to Find Your Inner Calm in a Complex World

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Living a simple life sounds unattainable, but it is. It comes down to learning how to find your inner calm in a complex world.

Finding stillness has become a luxury. In our 24/7 world, being super busy is something that is rewarded. We are pulled in a million and one directions – deadlines, family responsibilities, and financial obligations keep us moving at an ever rapid pace. In this state, it can feel hard to find time to breathe.

A lot of people think that by getting more done, their lives will be simpler. I hate to break it to you, but this is far from true.

In the words of Lin Yutang, “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”

Are you ready to learn why living a simple life is the only life worth living?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

A simple life is a beautiful life.

The only way to achieve this state of being is to surrender to it. Are you willing to stop letting the pressures and demands of the modern world control your life? If you are like most people, surrendering isn’t at the top of your priority list.

In the search for material and financial “success”, sometimes we can lose touch with our authentic self. We stray from what really matters because we have been conditioned to believe that we need more of everything. That’s what creates happiness, right? Think again.

Simplicity is about being, not doing. It can only be attained by peeling away the clutter so that you are left with what truly matters.

In an international survey of about 2,000 people by the Simplicity Institute, an online research and educational center, a striking 87 percent of those who shifted to a simpler lifestyle reported being happier as a result.

Simplifying your life doesn’t mean that you have to become a monk, live in the mountains and do nothing for the rest of your life, however that’s an effective way to get a head start! It is still possible to live in the modern world while making life easier for yourself.

The question is, “How do you know if living a simple living is right for you?” It comes down to asking yourself if you are ready to finally slow down and become more present in your life.

Keep in mind that a simple life means something different for everyone. For me, living a simple life wasn’t something that I ever desired. However, when I was faced with a brain injury, I had no choice but to surrender to simplicity. Everything that I did, from eating to walking to speaking required that I slowed down and consciously focus on each task.

I had to learn how to lean into my vulnerability and connect with my inner world.

The good news is that there is a way to find inner calm and simplicity in the midst of the emotional and mental chaos that is brought on by the rigors of everyday life.

Finding inner calmness is simply about tapping into your innate inner strength. Our minds are wired to think that we cannot

Most often, making lifestyle and life changes seem very difficult because our minds are wired to think that we cannot do it. In fact, you have what it takes to turn your life around anytime and as many times as you want.

Let’s talk about how to live a simple life.

1. Slow Down

Society tries to sell us the myth that if we go super fast we can achieve more. Ironically, you need to slow down in order to get to where you want to go. Sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true. When we spend too much of our lives rushing, it only leads to burnout. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Slowing down is the first step to finding a sense of inner calm. Doing so affords you the clarity that you need in order to pause and see things through an objective lens. Forget the hectic life. There is no rush. Slow things down to regain your sanity and focus.

2. Be Present

If you are living in the past or the future your life will feel heavy. It will set limitations on what you can and cannot do because you will be constantly worrying. In doing so, you give up your personal power.

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -Unknown

We don’t know what could happen tomorrow. All that we have is this moment. When we sink into what is happening in the here and now, our life becomes less complicated.

The best way to be present is to practice mindfulness in everything that you do. Consciously move throughout your life, breathe, and trust the process.

3. Practice Self-Care

Have you been putting yourself last lately? Simplicity demands that you make self-care a priority. Set aside some alone time every day so that you can connect with yourself and what matters to you.

I’m a big fan of creating a morning ritual. This is my time to engage in activities that ground me. By showing up for myself first, I am better able to show up for others.

Boundaries are an integral part of self-care. In fact, they are a necessity for your emotional and mental well-being.  You are just as important as the people that you take care of, so don’t forget it.

4. Remove Negative People From Your Life 

A simple life and negativity don’t mix well. Get rid of energy vampires in your life – the people who are constantly complaining and sucking the life from you. Scientific research shows that negativity is actually contagious. It is impossible to possess a positive attitude when you are surrounded by wet blankets. More importantly, it could be making you sick.

Simplify your life for inner calm by investing in quality relationships that inspire you to become the best version of yourself. It’s better to have one solid friend who will support you wholeheartedly than a dozen half-ass friends who don’t have your best interests at heart.

When you choose to surround yourself with positive and uplifting people, life becomes a lot simpler.

5. Declutter Your World

For many years I clung to possessions in a similar way that people hold onto the past. As a result, my life felt messy – everything from my house, to my work to my relationships. All of that changed when I packed my bag, sold all of my things and moved to Bali. I experienced the ultimate form of freedom.

I’m not saying that you need to be something as dramatic as I did, but it’s just an example of the weight that can be lifted from your world once you realize that what you have is enough.

I encourage you to declutter material things from your life. A cramped house is a catalyst for stress. The less you have, the calmer you will be.

6. Have A Grateful Heart

Lastly, be grateful for what you have. Gratitude is the gateway to a happy and simple life. When you are appreciative and live from a place of abundance, you start to notice the simple things in life.

The small moments take your breath away. It truly is a blessing to be alive. Sometimes we just need a serious knockdown to realize that this is true.

Living a simple life in a complex world is possible.

Don’t miss out on the experience of true living. Living a simple life will reward you with a fulfilling and happy life beyond your wildest dreams. In the words of Gandhi, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” 

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley talks about 3 ways that you can free yourself from codependent relationship and stop being addicted to love

Are You Addicted To Love? 3 Ways to Break Free From A Codependent Relationship

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Are you addicted to love? If you’ve been struggling to admit it, I’m with you. I am a recovering love addict.

I used to put love and my partner on a pedestal. It was my top priority. Every decision and action that I made was based on my partner’s needs. I realized that I was just desperately seeking validation of my self-worth. That was a hard pill to swallow.

A lot of love addicts have codependent tendencies. The term, co-dependency, describes relationships in which a person had a deep-seated need to rescue, help, care for, and fix his or her partner. This description used to be written all over my face. Everyone could see it but me.

The good news is that codependency is a learned behavior which means that it can be unlearned, and that’s exactly what I did. Are you ready to learn 3 ways that you can break free from a codependent relationship?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

If you are addicted to love, you aren’t alone.

Love addiction is actually quite common. However, most people do not want to admit that they are, or don’t realize that they are until they have lost themselves.

Stanton Peele said it best – “We often say ‘love’ when we really mean and are acting out, an addiction – a sterile, ingrown dependency relationship, with another person serving as the object of our need for security.”

Intense romance can often come with symptoms resembling addiction – euphoria, craving, dependence, withdrawal, and relapse. More importantly, brain scans have shown that it can be linked to drug-addiction-like activity in the brain’s reward centers.

Crazy, right?

This behavioral pattern can be traced back to one’s childhood; those who had parents that were emotionally unavailable may have triggered feelings of dependence, which drove them to become co-dependent on their partners.

I was an only child that was raised by a doting, single mother. I turned that same kind of hyperfocused attention towards my ex-partners. Their approval meant everything to me, just like it did with my mother. However, the constant affection and attention that I gave to my partners not only made them push me away, but they also took me for granted.

I gave and they took. This selfish cycle slowly diminished my self-worth and I found myself thinking that I wasn’t enough for anyone. When conflict arose, it was thrilling and debilitating at the same time. I used to look at my partner’s and think, “He is my everything. I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this.”

I was hooked on messy love.

Codependent behavior often leads one to overlook the shortcomings of the partner and attempt to make up for the emotional deficiency of the partner. They offer and give too much of themselves in the hope that the partner will be inspired to change by the love they give. Boom. That was me in a nutshell.

I thought that if I hung in there one last time and gave all of my love, understanding, and support, that I would get the love that I desired most. Not surprisingly, I never did. I stopped believing in myself.

How can you tell if you are addicted to a person and falling into codependent relationship patterns?

  • Are you a people pleaser that goes above and beyond to make your partner happy?
  • Do you define your self-worth based on what others think of you?
  • Is giving too much in a relationship and getting nothing back in return the norm for you?
  • Are creating healthy boundaries difficult for you to do?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, breathe. The first step to changing anything in life is awareness. Admitting that something is unhealthy is the best way to address the problem and effectively solve it.

A silver lining to all this is that codependency can be unlearned. I want to share some healthy steps that you can take in order to start the healing process away from codependent behavior and towards self-love.

Here are 3 ways that you can break free from a codependent relationship:

1. Communicate Your Feelings 

Codependents struggle to communicate their thoughts, feelings and needs to their partner. This creates unhealthy relationship patterns where neither partner understands what they need in order to feel heard and seen.

In the words of Barbara De Angelis, “In all codependent relationships, the rescuer needs the victim as much as the victim needs the rescuer.”

Instead of hiding your feelings, express how you feel in a direct and honest way and encourage your partner to do the same. Yes, it’s going to feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you weren’t taught how to communicate from an early age.

However, eventually, it will get easier and create an environment where you and your partner can openly talk about your relationship goals and needs, and how each of you can satisfy them.

2. Reclaim Your Inner Power

Codependent people tend to be people pleasers who ignore their own needs while doing anything to fulfill the needs of their partner. You can become burned out, exhausted, and begin to neglect other important relationships.

By making yourself a priority and engaging in activities that elevate your self-worth, you can begin the process of loving yourself.

What areas of your life have you been neglecting? Make an effort to nurture what is important to you. Once you do, you will reclaim your inner power.

If your partner acknowledges the personal shifts that you make towards being a more whole person, amazing. If he/she does not, then it’s time to rethink whether or not you are in a relationship that serves your highest self.

3. Find A Solid Support Network 

When you are healing from a codependent relationship, it’s vital that you surround yourself with a positive and supportive tribe of people who can empower and uplift you through the difficult times.

In the initial stages of detaching from the grips of your codependent behavioral patterns, you will go through waves of emotions. However, over time you will find your way back to yourself again. That is, only if you want. You can have all the desire in the world, but if you don’t believe that it’s possible, nothing will change.

I also recommend working with a counselor who can help you identify and examine your codependent patterns from an objective standpoint. Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. Rather, it’s a strength.

Being addicted to a person is toxic.

If you find yourself a victim of this behavior, you can use the steps above to break free from co-dependent relationship patterns for good. Don’t confuse co-dependency with true love.

When you’ve recovered from codependent behavioral patterns, you feel empowered to no longer stay in an unhealthy relationship. The only person’s happiness that you are responsible for is your own.

Healthy love is characterized by unconditional love, respect, and honesty, but it starts with loving yourself. When you have mastered that, love addiction will become a thing of the past.

Are you ready to break free from the self-destructive nature of love addiction?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley talks about why failing is not the same as failure and a 3-step action plan to fail your way to success

Failing Is A Good Thing: A 3-Step Action Plan to Fail Your Way to Success

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Did you know that failing is a good thing? A lot of people cringe when I say this.

We have been conditioned to believe that failure is bad, so much so that we avoid it at all costs. We spend all of our time striving for perfection only to fall apart when we fall flat on our faces.

I encourage you to stop running from failure because it’s a normal part of life. If you let it, failing at anything can be an amazing gift. This is why some of the most successful people in the world attribute failure as an essential ingredient for their success.

Stop beating yourself up. Failing is proof that you are trying. It is the only way that we grow and evolve into the women that we desire to be. In the words of Winston Churchill, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Are you ready to learn how you can fail your way towards success? Here’s the answer.

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Let’s first define failing.

In my eyes, failing is proof that you are trying and that you give a genuinely care about growing as a person. It shows that you have a desire to stretch your limits and step into the unknown, without knowing what the outcome will be. Failing is all about courage.

Conversely, failure involves giving up altogether. It means that you’ve turned your back on growth and decided that the journey towards becoming a badass is over. You’ve decided to throw in the towel because it’s too hard to keep going.

Which mindset do you think results in greater success in life?

Whenever we do something for the first time, we can’t expect that we are always going to get it right. That’s not how learning works. We don’t grow and develop into better versions of ourselves by hanging out in our comfort zones. It’s only when we take risks, do the unthinkable, stretch ourselves to the limit and come back from hardship, more powerful than ever before, that we become more.

Failure is a critical part of any success story. The most successful people in the world have failed miserably. However, the difference between them and the rest of the pack is that they didn’t give up when they got knocked down.

Unfortunately, we only get to see the end product of people’s success. We rarely see the struggles that they had to go through in order to get to where they are today.

For example… the Harry Potter series has seen astronomical success for J.K. Rowlings, but she faced a litany of rejections of her writings by publishers and critics alike. Look who’s laughing now. In the words of Rowlings herself, “It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all–in which case, you fail by default.” 

Experts agree that failure can inspire us to work harder and ultimately achieve our goals. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying that success isn’t good, but failure is even better. Let’s explore a 3-step action plan to fail your way towards success.

1. Drop The Pity Party

It’s okay to be disappointed when you fail, but don’t stay down. Feel sorry for yourself for a day or two, but then snap out of it, drop the pity party story and keep moving forward. Do what you need to do to get the guilt out of your system, whether that’s yelling into a pillow, crying, or eating a carton of ice cream. Just do it.

Karen Salmansohn, the best-selling author of, The Bounce Back Book: How to Thrive in the Face of Adversity, Setbacks, and Losses, she says that “Unless you let yourself feel pain, you can’t heal properly.” If you try to ignore negative emotions and suppress the bad feeling stuff, you will be less likely to learn from your experiences.

Don’t ever forget that failing isn’t final. It is merely a steppingstone to guide you towards your desired destination. In the words of Zig Ziglar, “Failure is not an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night.”

2. Figure Out Why You Failed

When we fail at something, it’s easy to become self-critical, which can be a serious drain on our confidence and motivation. Whatever you do, don’t put your head in the sand. Rather, go into a solution-focused mode of thinking.

Nobody else is going to fix your problems for you. It’s your job to be proactive and find an answer to why things aren’t working out. Make the necessary changes, adjust your attitude or plan, do more research, and learn from your mistakes. Do whatever it takes to get back on track and en route to the land of success.

2. Respond With Optimism

Have you ever wondered how some people can transform massive failures into epic wins? They are annoyingly positive about life. We all know these people.

How you view failure and what you choose to focus on will either help you or hinder you. I’m a big believer in positive thinking. When it comes to failing, attitude is everything. If you can train your brain to see the good in everything, even during the darkest of times, you are winning.

You can’t predict when failure will occur, but you can prepare for it by conditioning your mindset to be positive. Adopt an attitude of gratitude and look on the bright side of challenging situations. That is the recipe for success in life.

Failing forward is the best way for you to transform a setback into a setup for success. 

Failure is one of life’s greatest teachers. The next time that you try something new, give yourself permission to fail and use it as fuel to propel you forward. In the words of Napoleon Hill, “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.” What are you waiting for? Start failing, girl!

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

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Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

 

Ashley talks about 3 ways to be grateful when life knocks you down

How Can I Be Grateful When Life Knocks Me Down? Here is Your Answer.

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How can I be grateful when life knocks me down? I get asked this question a lot.

We don’t always see it, but in the midst of chaos, there is always a silver lining. Let’s be honest… it’s easier to feel grateful when life is butterflies and rainbows, but that’s not real life.

Life will hit you with challenges. That’s a fact. How you respond to those challenges is what matters most.  Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that gratitude comes easily when it feels like everything is going wrong. However, when you choose to view negative experiences as opportunities for learning, your entire perspective changes.

A life-threatening accident that left me with a spinal chord injury taught me about the power of gratitude. From that experience, I learned to appreciate the small things in life that so many of us take for granted, like feeding yourself and walking. It was because of the pain and hardship that I experienced during my two years of recovery that I finally understood what I meant to live, fully.

Are you ready to learn how to be grateful when life knocks you down? Here is your answer.

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Did you know that there are so many things to be grateful for?

It’s easy to forget when we are going through hard times. Staying positive amidst life’s curveballs and unexpected turns can feel difficult to near impossible. However, trust me when I say that it is the best coping strategy at your disposal when you need to be uplifted.

A growing number of studies inspired by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindfulness are showing that – rather than resisting them – embracing difficult situations actually increases well-being.

Gratitude in the face of life’s challenges simply means embracing a positive attitude and focus on the good things in your life. In the midst of a failing business, burnout, a brutal divorce, the loss of a job, the grief of a dead loved one, or the breakdown of a relationship, there is always something that we can pull upon that reminds us that there is still life after pain.

Let’s talk about 4 ways that you can find gratitude when being grateful is the last thing that you have the energy for.

1. Start With Something Small

When life knocks you on your ass, grab hold of any little thing that makes you happy. It could be as simple as your favorite song, a show that makes you laugh, or a friend to call. Oftentimes, the small things are actually the big things. Over time, they add up and impact our lives in ways we would have never dreamed of.

“Be grateful for small things, big things, and everything in between. Count your blessings, not your problems.”-Mandy Hale

When you are present and give thanks for the beautiful things that still exist in your life, amidst the chaos, it can shift your entire perspective. You will tap into the realization that life every moment of your existence is something to be treasured and not taken for granted.

Oftentimes people don’t practice gratitude until something bad happens in our lives. This is why, when so many people are on their death bed, they start living every day to the fullest. If you knew that you only had one day left to live, would you sweat the small stuff or would you find joy in the simplest of things?

2. Help Someone In Need

We all experience challenges in life. When you give back to others in need, it not only lifts others’ spirits, but it also reminds you that you aren’t alone. Not only will it make you more grateful for the things that you may take for granted, but studies have shown that volunteering increases our own well-being, and thus our ability to have more gratitude.

Contribution provides a powerful lens from which you are able to look at your problems from the outside. When you give back, not only does it give you a sense of purpose, but it also makes others’ lives better. It’s a win-win.

3. Surrender To What Is

By surrendering to pain or challenges in life, you live with a deeper sense of trust that everything is happening as it should. Without surrender, you are in a state of resistance, which leaves zero space for gratitude. As difficult as it is, there is beauty in letting go of what you cannot control.

Tap into your body’s innate intelligence. Feel your pain, fully. Don’t try to force it to go away. Trust me, that only makes it worse. Simply observe it and let it move through you.

Life’s knockdowns have always forced me to slow down, re-evaluate and go inward. I’ve come to realize that, sometimes, pain is part of the journey back to a form of freedom that you would have never known had you not walked through the fire to get there.

It all comes down to your perspective. Know that the trials you are going through are just a slice of your life. It’s not the whole damn pie.

4. Laugh Through The Pain

I am sure that you have heard the saying “laughter is the best medicine.” Laughing is one of the best ways that I am able to lift my spirits when I feel like shit.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that pain is funny. It’s far from it. However, your response to challenges is what determines how well you are able to cope with them. It’s OK to feel sad, but it’s not healthy to stew in this negative place.

Even in the most difficult of times, I think that if something is funny, you should laugh for the sake of laughing. Seize any opportunity that allows you to escape the chaos that is consuming your mind. Trust me when I say that, the burden that is lifted when you release all of the ‘stuff’ that weighs you down, is a beautiful thing.

In the words of Laura Ingalls Wilder, “A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.” Humor shines a light on the darkness, making it more manageable. In my eyes, there is nothing wrong with that.

Wake up every day and be eternally grateful for your life and the people in it.

We never plan for disappointments in our lives. We always hope for the best. Consequently, most of the time, we are unprepared when life knocks us down. The next time you find yourself wondering how to be grateful when life knocks you down, I hope my insights have inspired you to give thanks for your life and the people in it.

Always be encouraged to look at the brighter side of life. Like someone said, “Falling down is part of life, getting back up is living.”

Get up and live.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

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Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

 

Ashley talks about how you can go from burnout to breakthrough

Burnout to Breakthrough: How to Find Yourself When You Lose Yourself

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Burnout creeps up on you, slowly changing the way that you function, leaving you feeling depleted and defeated. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives.

Burnout has become a universal condition. If you haven’t experienced it yet, be prepared for people looking at you as though you are superhuman. Compared with roughly 20 years ago, people are twice as likely to report that they are exhausted most of the time.  Today, close to 50% of people say they are ‘often’ or ‘always’ exhausted, due to work.

Burnout starts with stress and gradually erupts into full-blown body exhaustion. You wake up one day feeling like you got hit with a sledgehammer but you have no idea where it came from.

Are you ready to learn how you can go from burnout to breakthrough?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Back in the day, I could have won an Oscar for “how to do a burnout” the right way.

I’ve been a classic overachiever since the dawn of time. I took pride in this so-called “strength” of mine for most of my life… until I got burnout and then my entire world caved in on me. Take it from me when I say that one of the fastest ways to burn out is by getting stuck doing everything perfectly. I didn’t understand. I thought this was the road to success, but I was sorely mistaken.

In today’s world, being an overachiever is praised. The line of thinking is that if you work yourself senseless, then you must be successful. Take it from me, It’s not possible to do it all! However, as women, this is still what is expected of us. As a result of this unrealistic expectation, many women end up losing themselves, in the process of climbing to the top.

Paulette Janus, behavioral health specialist and founder of Janus Behavioral Health Services, points out that, “The culture of ‘you can do it all’—particularly for women—can lead to having a blind spot for burnout, denying the feeling, or viewing it as a weakness.”

What does it mean to be burned out?

A good burnout definition comes from The American Psychological Association’s David Ballard, who describes burnout as “an extended period of time where someone experiences exhaustion and a lack of interest in things, resulting in a decline in their job performance.”

Burnout is a state of overwhelming exhaustion, on both a mental, emotional and physical level. There are many reasons why burnout occurs, but more often than not, it’s the result of unrelenting stress on the mind and body, over a long period of time.

Fatigue from the many rigors of everyday engagements is common and expected, especially if you are immersed in a project with deadlines or any other stressful activities that take your attention in a million and one different directions.

Extreme fatigue and lack of enthusiasm for the things you do common symptoms of burnout and can generally be summarized as a combination of exhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy. That’s a brutal combo and one that nobody wants to be sucked into.

Burnout symptoms may show up differently for everyone. However, you are likely burned out if you have a combination of these problems:

  • If you are suddenly suffering from a lack of belief and confidence in your abilities, coupled with a decrease in productivity and achievement.
  • If you are disengaged from people around you in what has been referred to as depersonalization, which ends up alienating you.
  • And of course, you are experiencing overwhelming fatigue which affects your concentration, leading to sleep problems or even sickness.

In the words of Michael Gungor, “Burnout is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.” Through my personal experience with burnout, I’ve learned that success isn’t about burning the candle at both ends. Rather, it’s about becoming a master at taking care of your mind, body, and soul. It’s about knowing when to say no and making yourself a priority.

The burning question remains, “How do you go from burnout to breakthrough?”

It’s important to remember that burnout doesn’t magically disappear overnight. It requires that you commit to healthy habits over a long period of time because nobody is going to heal yourself but you. If we resist burnout, it bites us even harder.

Here are 5 strategies that you can implement today in order to avoid falling into the black hole that is burnout.

1. Create A Morning Ritual

When we are in a state of burnout, it’s difficult to feel positive emotions. I’m a big believer that the mindset that you wake up with sets the tone for your entire day. If you roll out of bed, throw on a pot of coffee, troll on social media and eat a donut, guess how you are going to feel? Over time, these bad habits catch up with people. 

Find a ritual that works for you, whether that’s meditation, reading a book, practicing yoga, reciting positive affirmations, or exercising. In today’s busy world, self-care isn’t a luxury. Rather, it’s a priority. When you place energy towards things that nurture your highest self, you will find yourself feeling more balanced and in control of your life.

2. Learn To Say “No”

If we want to learn how to say “no” then we need to start deconstructing why we keep saying “yes.” For myself, it’s because I tend to fall into people pleasing mode. I don’t want to let people down so I go above and beyond, oftentimes at the expense of my own health and well-being. As you can imagine, this mindset played a huge role in my burnout.

We all have days when we are overwhelmed by work. However, try not to take on more than you can handle. This comes down to listening to your gut, even if it means letting someone down. Your sanity matters just as much as everyone else’s.

3. Engage In Meaningful Activities

If you are starting to feel the effects of burnout creep into your daily life, make an effort to focus on things that bring joy to your life, whether that’s taking a yoga class, spending time with friends, dancing or reading a book.

Studies show that increasing your diet of positive emotion builds your resilience, creativity, and ability to be solution-focused, things that are in short supply if you feel like you’re burning out.

When you have purpose and meaning in life, it enhances your overall well-being. When it comes to being a high achiever, there is a heavy price to pay. If your work is consuming your entire life and no longer fulfills you, it’s time to rethink your career.

Life is too short to engage in work that you don’t love. Achievement is important but not to the point where life loses its meaning.

3. Hit The Pause Button

If you are sitting there rolling your eyes and thinking, “Ha! Pause button. What is that?” I hear you. Slowing down doesn’t feel like a possibility for many of us. However, if you want to be full power, you need to take the time to chill out, restore and reset your mind.

Whatever a break looks like for you, do it – even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Your brain can’t function on autopilot. Just like a muscle, it needs a break from time to time.

4. Drop The Excuses

When you are burnt out, it’s easy to fall into ‘victim mode’ because everything feels like a burden. In this space, it’s easy to blame the world for your problems. However, this is not an empowering state to be in. When it comes to burnout, we need to take responsibility for our role in it and drop the excuses.

Instead of stewing over our problems, we need to rise up and find solutions. If this means that you need to give yourself some tough love, do it. Start working on how you can make things better.

5. Seek help

When you are in the throes of burnout,  it can feel as if you are alone, but you aren’t. When I was at my version of “burnout rock bottom” all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball, hide from the world and avoid people because I didn’t want to appear weak. I had a “do it on your own” mentality.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This is not a sign of weakness. Reach out to family, friends or colleagues and let them know about the challenges that you are facing. Having a strong support network will help you transition from ‘burnout to breakthrough’ a lot faster.

You don’t need to be a player in the burnout game.

Learning how to effectively manage our stress is critical. If you feel like you are on the road to exhaustion, take a step back and remember that you deserve to feel good. Sometimes we need to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves again. In the words of Joyce Meyer, “When you are tempted to give up, your breakthrough is probably just around the corner.”

Make a commitment to yourself that you will not allow burnout to take over your life. The best way to recover from burnout is to be kind to yourself. Are you ready to show yourself the love that you so freely give to everyone else?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

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Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares 3 ways that you can stop being a perfectionist procrastinator

Stop Being A Perfectionist Procrastinator: 3 Ways To Conquer Perfectionism

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Perfectionist procrastinator. Does this define you? If so, you are killing your productivity.

Perfectionism slaps you in the face, drains your time, and leaves you feeling depleted, overwhelmed and frustrated beyond belief. It is the enemy of everything. People often confuse perfectionism with high achievement, but there is a very big difference between the two.

Thomas S. Greenspon, a psychologist, and author of a recent paper on the antidote of perfectionism says that “Perfectionistic people typically believe that they can never be good enough, that mistakes are signs of personal flaws, and that the only route to acceptability as a person is to be perfect.”

It begs the question, “When is good enough, enough?” To a perfectionist, the answer is, “Never”. If you want to lead a happy, successful and resilient life, you need to learn how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator. Are you ready to free yourself from the enemy of progress and productivity?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Are you ready to learn how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator?

This is a tough pill for many of us to swallow. Why? Because a lot of people have been conditioned to believe that perfection equals success, but it doesn’t, and I know because I’ve struggled with perfectionism my entire life.

In the words of Leo Buscaglia, “Some of the biggest problems arise when we begin to believe that we are perfect or the world around us should be perfect.”

Who am I kidding…I still struggle. If I’m not going above and beyond, if I’m not achieving and doing more, and if I’m not the best at what I do, I’m not enough. That’s hard to say out loud, but it’s what my inner critic tells me, and when she is in the driver’s seat, my perfection kicks into full gear.

I hate to break it to you, but perfectionism and lack of self-worth go hand-in-hand. 

Dr. Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher, and storyteller once said, “People who are walking around as perfectionists are ultimately afraid that the world is going to see them for who they really are and [that] they won’t measure up.” YES. Can you relate? I sure as hell can.

In our desire to be loved and accepted by others, we people please in our hopes to be seen. There is a lack of security in one’s own abilities and awesomeness. In this place, self-doubt reigns supreme. Nobody can maintain impossible standards of perfection because it is an illusion.

When people can’t accept this reality, that’s when all hell breaks loose, which can manifest itself as burnout, anxiety and overwhelm. Research has suggested that anxiety over making mistakes may ultimately be holding some perfectionists back from ever achieving success in the first place. 

Let’s explore 3 ways that you can stop being a perfectionist procrastinator.

1. Practice Imperfection

If you are a perfectionist procrastinator, you understand what I mean when I say that perfectionism is a productivity killer. By intentionally practicing doing things in an imperfect way, you will slowly become more comfortable with accepting that good enough IS good enough.

Martin M. Antony, a professor of psychology and co-author of When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, suggests that you can overcome your perfectionism by practicing imperfect acts. This takes practice and patience, but over time, you will notice how good it feels to not be so attached to perfection.

As the old adage goes, “Practice makes perfect”, so start messing up and see how it feels! This is how to stop being a perfectionist.

2. Change How You Set Goals

Perfectionist procrastinators love to set ridiculously large, unattainable goals that leave them feeling overwhelmed. As you can imagine, they rarely achieve them because they consumed themselves with doing everything perfectly.

When it comes to setting goals, the only person who you have control over is yourself. You can’t predict anything else. Make sure that the goals that you are setting are actually within your locus of control. If not, it’s time to set new goals.

If you are a perfectionist procrastinator, you need to learn how to trust the process, and not get so hung up on the end result. This will help you enjoy the journey of becoming who you desire to be. Part of loving yourself is being able to acknowledge what it is that you need.

3.Think of Mistakes As Life Lessons

A lot of perfectionist procrastinators have a fear of failure, which is why they are constantly pushing themselves to be the best because if they aren’t, they think they’ve failed at life. If you base your life on fear, you will never be able to move forward.

Reframe what it means to make mistakes. Instead of seeing them as signs that you aren’t good enough, view them as life lessons that are giving you the opportunity to learn and grow.

These are 3 ways for how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator.

I encourage you to stop trying to be perfect and embrace who you are. Nobody is perfect. That is what makes us so beautiful. When we accept and love ourselves just as we are, we longer strive to pursue perfection. Instead, a transformation of any kind becomes a journey that is built on self-love.

If you want to master adversity, don’t let perfectionism control your life. In the words of Shannon Alder, “There is no perfection. Only beautiful versions of brokenness.” You were born to be real, not perfect.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares a step-by-step guide for how to be proactive in the face of adversity and answers the question, "what does it mean to be proactive?"

What Does It Mean To Be Proactive: A Guide To Mastering Adversity

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What does it mean to be proactive? If you want to master adversity, you need to know.

The fact of the matter is that nobody is going to save you. It’s your job to transform setbacks into successes. Whether or not you want to accept it, challenges are a normal part of life. What matters most is how you respond to those challenges.

When adversity strikes, a reactive person curls into a ball, blames the world for their problems and says, “Why me?”

Conversely, a proactive person rides the tides of change, takes responsibility for their life, and says, “Why not me?” Instead of reacting to life’s blows and letting life happen to them, they take control and constantly look for ways to transform their pain into possibilities.

Are you ready to learn how to be proactive in the face of adversity? Let’s dive in!

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen To My Podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

What does it mean to be proactive?

Stephen Covey first popularized the concept of proactivity in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. In this book, he points out that your life doesn’t just magically happen. Rather, it is carefully crafted by the decisions that you make. This is your life, which means that you have the freedom to respond in whatever way you see fit.

When you know how to be proactive, you are always ready for the unexpected.

From time to time, all of us encounter challenges in life that leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and lost. However, in these moments, we have a choice.  We can either master our emotions and take action to change our circumstances for the better, or we can play the victim.

The good news is that being proactive is a skill that you can develop and strengthen. It comes down to shifting your mindset and noticing the point at which you are starting to fall into reactive mode. It is at this moment that you have a choice, to either reframe a situation in a more positive light or lose yourself in adversity.

In the words of Stephen Covey himself, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

Don’t get down on yourself if you derail from time to time. We are all human and we make mistakes, but the trick is to not make it a habit. 

What does it mean to be proactive? Let’s explore 3 ways that you can learn how to be proactive instead of reactive when the life doesn’t go your way.

1. Pay Attention To How You Talk To Yourself 

What does your inner dialogue sound like? If it’s negative, you are sabotaging yourself. Our inner critics feed off of negativity and low self-esteem. If you are constantly telling yourself that you can’t do something or that you aren’t strong enough, guess what? That’s exactly what you are going to get.

The Universe gives us what we ask for, which is why we need to be so careful how to talk to ourselves. Words are powerful, and so are the meanings behind them.

Shifting your mindset doesn’t happen overnight, but I’m a big believer that when we condition our mind for positivity, we become addicted to success. The voice inside of your head doesn’t have to be your worst enemy.

Meet your critic where she is and observe what she is saying and why she is saying it. At the end of the day, you know way more than she does. Stop beating yourself up and trust that you have everything that you need inside of you to master adversity.

2. Look For Solutions

If you want to get yourself out of rough waters, you need to find an anchor, and that anchor is YOU. The people that are able to thrive through setbacks and become more as a result of them are the ones that look for solutions, rather than dwelling on problems.

Solving any problem is impossible if you only focus on the negative. Shift your perspective. What can you learn from adversity and how you can leverage it to grow and expand yourself?

Sometimes the only way to move forward and get yourself out of a rut is to forgive yourself and others. Once you free yourself from the emotional baggage that problems tend to create, you make room for your rational brain to take over and find a solution.

Proactive people are masters at problem-solving. They have a disposition towards taking intentional action to influence their situation and environment, whereas reactive people tend to fester in their shit and go in circles, never making any progress.

3. Focus On What You Can Control  

If you obsess about the things that you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for failure. The fact of the matter is that the only thing that we have control over is ourselves. We can’t predict how other people are going to act or what life is going to throw us.

Reactive people spend their time worrying about all of the outcomes that are beyond their locus of control, which makes them feel helpless, whereas proactive people have the discipline to keep moving forward, even when nothing feels certain, knowing that everything will work out. This optimistic mindset sets them up for success.

All that we can do is learn how to master our emotional center and respond in a way that serves our highest self. We can’t always control the outcome, but we can influence it in our favor. Research shows that the best route to top performance is to focus on what you can control and ignore what you can’t. This is how to be proactive.

Steve Maraboli said it best – “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

4. Take Massive Action 

Don’t just sit on the sidelines and wait for life to happen to you. That is a recipe for disaster. Proactive people rise up, unleash their inner badass and take massive action to change a situation that no longer serves them.

Do you want to be proactive and become addicted to success? If so, the only way to do it is to do something! When you make the choice to consciously create your reality, every day, and I promise that you will become stronger, and will find yourself growing in ways that you never thought were possible.

What does it mean to be proactive?

Hopefully, after reading this blog post, you have a better idea and are ready to start being proactive.

Being proactive means that you are constantly seeking solutions and striving to become more. whereas being reactive means that you resist change, dwell on the negative and take minimal action in the face of challenges. Which path will you take?

In order to create change, we must know how to be proactive and take responsibility for our lives. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.

Choose happiness. Choose success. Choose inner strength. You’ve got what it takes. Are you ready?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

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Ashley shares 5 reasons why it is important to trust the process of life

Trust The Process, No Matter How Difficult It Is

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Do you trust the process of life? If you want to reach your desired destination, you need to surrender to the process, no matter how difficult it is.

When we allow life to reveal itself to us, we live in the present moment, knowing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Unfortunately, a lot of people jump too far forward. In their desire to reach their final destination, they forget about the journey, but this is where the magic lies.

Unfortunately, life and comfort don’t co-exist. In today’s world, nothing is permanent, and at any moment life could throw you a curveball that could change the game. When you trust the process, you accept and have faith in the unknown. You step outside of your comfort zone and allow life to guide you along your journey.

Let go of fear and stop trying to control life. As Emmanuel Teney says, “As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.” Are you ready to believe in yourself and trust the process?

Watch the video below:

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Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

What is stopping you from trusting the process?

Fear can play a large role. A lot of people don’t like to trust the process because they fear that it’s not going to lead them down the path that they want. If they don’t see results fast enough, they get discouraged and give up altogether. People look too far forward and obsess about the end result, but what about the small milestones that you need to take in order to reach your final destination?

Let’s explore 4 ways that you can trust the process of life.

1. Be Resilient 

When faced with adversity, it can be difficult to trust the process. Thoughts of, “Why me” may surface, causing you to doubt your ability to move forward. This is the moment at which you need to thought stop. Why not you?? Life happens to all of us, and it’s our responsibility to either rise above our circumstances, or give up.

If you believe that everything is in your control, drop that story now. Change is the only constant. Resilient people surrender to uncertainty. They understand that we have very little control over what happens in life, and by adopting this mindset, they have trust in the process.

2. Embrace The Unknown 

Humans dislike ambiguity of any kind. Anything that doesn’t feel safe, stable, and comfortable feels dangerous. The fact of the matter is that we don’t know what life will throw us, but if we embrace the unknown and get comfortable being uncomfortable, we will be better prepared for anything.

In his book, Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing, Jamie Holmes explore the notion that people have an impulse to want to understand, reach conclusions, and take control. However, if we want to grow, both personally and professionally, we need to act confidently in the face of the unknown.

There are no guarantees in life. Don’t predict the future. Rather, focus on what you can control, which is the present moment. When you do so, you will be creating your life, moment by moment, with zero attachments to what could be.

3. Focus On Your Purpose 

When in doubt, focus on your purpose. Trusting the process is about accepting that hardships will happen along your journey to success, but having confidence that every lesson is bringing you one step closer to fulfilling your purpose in life. Whether you want to believe it or not, failure is a good thing. It is proof that you are trying.

When you commit to being persistent and carrying on, despite the odds, the Universe will reward you. I encourage you to adopt a positive mindset and find ways to appreciate every experience, both good and bad, that is bringing you one step closer to embodying your purpose. In the words of Andrea Dykstra, “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.”

4. Practice Gratitude 

Our perspective on life dictates the thoughts that we feel and the decisions that we make. The other day I found myself dwelling upon regrets, which left me feeling depleted and anxious. As a result, I wasn’t able to focus on the good that I was creating in the present moment.

It only took me a minute to snap out of my ruminative thoughts when I found out that my dear friend had just lost her Dad to cancer. At that moment, I found perspective and felt a deep sense of gratitude for my life. It allowed me to stop dwelling on what I couldn’t change and to remember how blessed I am. 

Feeling grateful has been associated with less frequent negative emotions and thoughts, more frequent positive emotions and thoughts, greater meaning in life, more positive coping, a greater appreciation of life. Life is so short. If you are fortunate enough to have freedom and safety, be grateful and conscious of when you slip off track and let your inner critic get the best of you.

Once you trust the process, your path in life becomes clear.

Life is tough, but so are you, darling. When you learn to trust the process and have gratitude for how far you’ve come, you get massively rewarded. Why are you trying to go anywhere else, other than where you currently are? Learn to fall in love with the here and now, knowing that life is going to give you exactly what you need if you are brave enough to ask for it. In the words of Robert Tew, “Trust the process. You will discover a lot about yourself through hardship.”

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

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