Mindset

Ashley explains how to stop worrying about things you cant control in your life

Stop Worrying About Things You Can’t Control

, ,

Stop worrying about things you can’t control. Easier said than done, right? One of the brutal truths of life is that you have zero control over many of the things that happen to you.

Raise your hand if you are a worry wart? Do you ruminate about things that haven’t even happened yet, or the possibility that bad things might happen to you, like diseases or an accident? If so, don’t be embarassed. I’m with you.

I’ve been a worrier since the dawn of time. Over time, I found that investing all of my energy into things like fear, panic, anxiety, and worry made me sick. Literally. In a new review, researchers described worry as “a chain of thoughts and images that are affectively negative and relatively uncontrollable.” Yep, that sums it up.

Life can be a rollercoaster ride of stressors and challenges and when we get knocked down, sometimes our internal narrative takes over, spinning our mind into overdrive. Our worries do a great job of reminding us that the unknown is a scary place, life is unfair, and that we aren’t mentally tough enough to pull through, but we are.

Leo Buscaglia said it best – “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Worry is like a bad habit, and just like a habit, it can be changed. It all starts with you. Are you ready to learn why you should stop worrying about things that you can’t control?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can stand back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE to receive instant access to my free eBook!

Here’s the thing….if you allow worry to consume you, every area of your life will suffer, especially your physical health. According to the National Institutes of Health, chronic emotional stress can virtually effect every organ system in negative ways, and don’t I know it. Years of chronic burnout, stress, and feeling overwhelmed took its toll. I pushed on, for fear of appearing weak in the eyes of others, but inside, my body was saying, “Slow the fuck down and relax.”

Ashley describes how worrying can make you physically sick

Leo Buscaglia said it best – “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Worry is like a bad habit, and just like a habit, it can be changed. It all starts with you.

The only thing that is certain in this world is uncertainty. You never know what is going to happen next in life, good or bad. I’ve faced some pretty heavy shit in my life that I had no control over and it drove me crazy. Because I resisted, the fear persisted. So, what’s the answer for breaking this negative cycle?

Stop worrying. It’s out of your control.

My partner would tell me this over and over again, and every time he did, I rolled my eyes and thought, “If you only knew how difficult that is.” However, it was that simple. It all starts with acceptance and surrender. It wasn’t until I made the choice to release my grip on control, was I able to breathe again, have gratitude for the moment, and navigate my emotional terrain with grace, ease, and optimism.

It required a lot of reconditioning, but every day I made strides, and today, I have more energy and feel more alive than ever before. It’s almost as if a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. For those of you who experience worry, you know how heavy it feels.

Enough about the problem, let’s get to the solution – how we can reduce stress, stop anxiety and live a mostly worry-free, resilient life. I promise you that it’s not some fairytale utopia idea. It’s real, and encourage you to try these 3 worry-crushing strategies, that are guaranteed to help you stop worrying about things you can’t control:

1. Sweat It Out

If you are someone who is prone to worry and anxiety, it’s possible that you aren’t getting enough exercise. We weren’t designed to be sedentary. Moving your body is good for your mind and body, and I’ve found it to be one of the best ways to change my emotional state instantly.

Doctors are quick to prescribe drugs like Xanax for people who suffer from anxiety-related symptoms, however they fail to point out the power of sweating away the negative stuff that weighs you down. Research shows that exercise can affect brain activity of serotonin, the so-called “happy” brain chemical, as well as reduce the effects of stress.

My drug of choice is dance. When I move the energy in my body, I stop worrying completely. Why? Because I am in the moment, fully embodying and owning my personal power and self-mastery. When I am in this space, I am in control of my emotional state and there is no room for negative thoughts.

2. Practice Mindfulness

When I am worrying, I find it hard to focus on anything. Ruminative, scattered thoughts floating around your mind is a recipe for disaster. The quickest way to shift out of fear and into clarity is through mindfulness.

Calming your mind allows you to focus on the present moment and cultivate an attitude of acceptance. If you run from your worry, it will chase you down, leaving you feeling depleted and defeated. You can’t control it, but you can control your emotional response to it.

Rather, try acknowledging the feeling, call it out, and don’t resist it. If you have to repeat the mantra, “allow, allow, allow” out loud, do it. One of my favorite techniques for reducing my anxious thoughts is listening to a guided meditation while practicing deep breathing. This has been my go-to for chilling the f*ck out when it feels like my thoughts are spiralling of of control. Stop worrying, get on the mat, and find your center.

3. Do A Social Media Detox

We live in a world where technology reigns supreme. At first, it may seem that social media sites, like Facebook or Instagram, are tools designed for us to connect with one another, but there is another dimension at play.

When you constantly look in the lives of other people, it provides a playing ground for comparison and self-judgement – two things that worry loves to feed on. All of a sudden your mind is in overdrive. When it comes to the effects of social media on women, especially young girls, the story becomes even more difficult. We are led to believe that beautiful means zero body fat, the best designer clothes, and plastic surgery to “fix” your imperfections.

What can follow is self-loathing, low self-esteem, worry, and anxiety. I challenge you to do a social media detox. Focus on your own world for a change. Worry about loving yourself instead of obsessing about other people loving and accepting you.

Don’t try to relieve worry. Rather, stop worrying altogether by addressing it, head on, like the badass woman that you are. How would it feel if you could stop worrying and start living your life to the fullest? Let your answer be the driving force that inspires you to take back your power and become the CEO of your mind. In the words of Stephanie DelTorchio, “Worry is a beach walk in July, wearing a down coat, expecting snow. It’s stupid.”

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Ashley describes how you can rise above your circumstances and live your life without limits

Rise Above Your Circumstances: How To Live A Life Without Limits

, ,

Rise above your circumstances. Your circumstances don’t define who you are. When you live without limits, you are truly free. Unfortunately, not enough people choose this path. Instead, they stay in their comfort zones, for fear that they will fail.

The fact of the matter is, you are the only thing standing in your way of success. Guess what? Change is scary, but regret is even scarier.

The key to conquering anything that seems impossible to the mind’s eye is an unwavering belief in oneself. We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental toughness is put to the test – a toxic relationship, a lost family member, a bad accident, a financial crisis.

You have the power to turn the impossible into the possible. It all starts and ends in your mind. It is amazing how much you can achieve, IF you put your mind to it. Will it be hard work? Yes. Will you want to give up? Yes. Will it be worth the fight? 100%.

However, you can’t just dip your foot in the ocean of the unknown. You have to dive in, head first. It’s mind blowing what can happen when you choose to not give up. In the words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Are you ready to rise above your circumstances?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Everything that you want to accomplish in life starts in your mind. Your mind is a powerful tool. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I was pleasantly reminded of this the other day while I was having a conversation with a friend, who suggested that maybe I shouldn’t teach yoga dance anymore because it’s too straining on my neck/back injuries.

In her words, “Maybe it would be best to accept my limits and do something that wasn’t so challenging for my body.” I cringed in disbelief.

Quickly my anxious mind jumped into the conversation and agreed with her, telling me all the reasons why I wasn’t strong enough to do the very thing that I loved most – empowering women to confidently step out of their comfort zones, and into their badass power, both on and off the mat.

I was reminded of a quote by Steve Maraboli who said, “I can’t”… “It’s not possible”… “I’m not good enough”… ~ These are lies the demons of your past use to scare away the possibilities of the present.”

Rise above your circumstances. It’s the only way to live.

At that point, I smiled sarcastically at her and said, “Nah, I think I’ll continue showing up for myself, being awesome, and doing what I love.” 

Sure, our bodies have limits, but at the end of the day, your only limit is you and your mind. You can either hang out on the side lines and watch life pass you by, or you can dive in, push yourself, and prove to yourself and the world how fucking limitless you truly are. Make the choice to live without limits and rise above your circumstances in life.

A recent study highlighting the link between mindfulness and resilience found that, “Mindful people can better cope with difficult thoughts and emotions, without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down emotionally.” By stepping back and observing, our mind may resist getting stuck in old stories, thereby empowering us to move forward.

Just like you can train your body, you can train your mind to be more resilient. It all comes down to perception.

You are not defined by your circumstances. Rise above them!

How does it feel when you say these words out loud? Instead of dropping into fear mode when a challenge hits you, try approaching it from a position of excitement.

Is this going to be uncomfortable? Hell yeah, but this is where the magic lies. Any time you are trying something new, you can only grow if you feel awkward and uneasy.

It will spark your intrinsic motivation, and light a fire under your ass that will put you into a state of optimal flow. In fact, flow research demonstrates that flow happens when we are sufficiently challenged and work at the edge of our skill level.

When is the last time you went above and beyond your limits and did something that tested every bone in your body? Whatever challenge you are currently facing in life, you are strong enough to rise above the shit that is trying to hold you down.

Dwelling on the “what if’s” and having a pity party won’t help. Trust me. I’ve done it, and it only leaves you feeling stuck. It all comes down to pushing through your mental blocks and knowing that your only limit is you.

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do. Rise above your circumstances. In the words of the late great Muhammad Ali, “Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” Now is the time to go show the world that the word, “impossible” does not exist in your vocabulary. 

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

 

Ashley describes 3 ways for how you can master your emotions

Master Your Emotions: If Not Now, When?

,

Master your emotions. If not now, when? Do your emotions make you feel like you are spiralling out of control? If this is a regular pattern for you, I’ve got good news. As of today, you no longer have to be at the mercy of them.

Emotional Mastery is the ability to exercise control over your emotional state without letting it affect you. Our emotions have a huge amount of influence over the choices that we make in life. They determine what we care about, and give us the courage to stand up for what we believe in, to support the people that we love, and connect to others.

In the words of Jim Rohm, “Your emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.” Are you ready to learn how you can master your emotions?  If not now, when?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen to my podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

By nature, women tend to be highly emotional creatures. Can you relate? I know I can, and I’m proud of it. This is supported by research that shows that women’s brains are more sensitive to negative emotions. However, just because we are predisposed to being more sensitive does not mean that we are any less capable of mastering how we feel.

Master your emotions.

Don’t get me wrong. Being an empathetic person has its perks, but if we want to be in control of our lives, we need to allow waves of emotion to flow through us, with grace and ease. Emotional mastery can be easily learned. It is a skill, that takes practice, commitment, and patience. You have the power to master your emotions, because you and only you, are responsible for your emotional well-being. 

Here are 3 ways that you can master your emotions:

1. Be Conscious Of Your Emotions

Oftentimes, we react without thinking. In psychology, there is a term known as amygdala hijack, which refers to the phenomenon when the emotional parts of our brain have completely taken over the thinking parts of our brain. If we don’t know where are emotional triggers are coming from, we are unable to create healthier responses.

When you are conscious of the reasons behind your emotions, you are better able to make sense of why you react the way you do. Any change in our habits starts with self-awareness. When you know thyself, you can master your emotions instead of being a slave to them.

2. Own Your Emotions

Once you better understand your emotional triggers, now you have to take responsibility for your emotional reactions and address them, mindfully. When we blame others for our emotional reactions, it’s our way of telling the Universe, “I don’t have control over my life.”

That’s no way to live. Drop the blaming story! The good news is that emotional resilience can be developed and strengthened, every day. All it requires is a commitment to taking a proactive approach to better managing and mastering your emotional energy.

3. Chill Out

The next time it feels as if your world is falling on top of you, take a deep breath, chill out, and “let that shit go.” Oftentimes, negative emotion takes over when we are out of balance. Take care of yourself so that you don’t drop into overwhelm mode.

When you do things that nourish your mind, body and soul, you will feel more in control of your emotional state. Don’t be a slave to your emotions. I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than your massive to-do list that causes you anxiety, or the deadline that stresses you out to the point that you snap. These days, I have come to realize that stress, anxiety and worry are all choices.

In the grand scheme of things, what does stress and anxiety do for us? A whole lot of nothing. Allowing your emotions to take over your rational self is a decision that you every day, whether you want to believe it or not. You are not defined by your emotions.

You are a strong, powerful, resilient woman who can weather any storm that is thrown her way. Master your emotions. Don’t let them master you. In the words of Jim Rohn, “Your emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.”

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley describes why overcoming victim mentality is a must if you want to master life's challenges

Overcoming Victim Mentality: The Mindset That is Holding You Back

, , ,

Overcoming victim mentality can be a challenging feat. I know this, because I’ve done the hard work to go from victim to victor.

If you want to achieve success in life, you need to start by mastering your mindset. Resilient people take responsibility for their lives. They don’t play the victim game and passively move throughout their days. Rather, they are always focused on growing and expanding themselves.

When life knocks them down, they don’t blame the world for their problems. They roll with life’s punches, and use each blow as fuel for the fire, which allows them to come back stronger than ever before. It all starts with developing an unshakeable mindset.

At the end of the day, overcoming victim mentality is your choice. We all have the power to remove the obstacles that stand in our way of success, so that we can rise up and become the women that we desire to be. In the words of Nora Ephran, “Above all, be the heroine of your life. Not the victim.” It all starts with you. Are you ready?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen to my podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

You are human, which means that you are allowed to feel negative emotions, but it’s up to you how long you choose to wallow in this place.The fact of the matter is, you have the capacity for overcoming victim mentality. You just may not be fully aware of it yet. 

Overcoming victim mentality is a choice.

It all starts with developing an unshakeable mindset. I want to share with you 5 secrets for overcoming victim mentality:

1. Change Your Beliefs

As women, oftentimes the biggest obstacle that holds us back are our own self-limiting beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of. These inner voices encourage victim behavior, and are destructive to our happiness and success in life.

Our brains can produce upwards of 50,000 thoughts a day, 99% percent of these thoughts are repeated daily. Your thoughts become your beliefs which, in turn, become your mindset. This is why it’s so important that you think empowering rather than disempowering thoughts.

Do you identify with any of these stories?

  • I’ll never make it in my career;
  • I’m weak;
  • I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough’
  • I don’t have the confidence to do that

The list goes on and on. STOP. Be careful how you talk to yourself, because your brain is listening. However, if we choose to view the world and ourselves through the lens of a victor mentality, we move out of victim mode and become empowered to re-write our story. The result? Pure freedom.

2. Take Responsibility For Your Life

Whereas victims tend to blame external circumstances or others for their problems, victors taking responsibility for their lives, knowing that they are responsible for their life and their happiness. Are you living a life of endless excuses? Sure, sometimes it’s easier to be a victim; talking about how other people make you do what you do removes the obligation for you to change.

Unfortunately this pattern of behaving won’t get you anywhere in life. Every important choice in life starts with a decision. It requires commitment. This is the point at which a real shift can occur. Research has found that when people commit to something, their desire to be seen as “consistent” drives them to act according to the commitment they’ve made.

When you decide that you are in the driver’s seat of your life, there is no turning back. Armed with this willpower, you become unstoppable. If you want to become a victor, you need to live AS IF you are one. In the words of Brian Tracy, “Among the most important personal choices you can make is to accept complete responsibility for everything you are and everything you will ever be. This is the great turning point in life.”

3. View Challenges As Opportunities For Growth

I hate to break it to you, but challenges are a part of life, and they aren’t going anywhere. We don’t have control over the highs and lows that come with life, but we do have control over how we respond to them. Whereas a victim will self-sabotage, causing their emotions to get the best of them, a victor will look a challenge dead in the face and say, “I got this.”

Have you ever met a woman who seems to have an annoyingly optimistic attitude when faced with adversity? She always finds a way to turn a bad thing into something great, almost effortlessly? Her secret to success isn’t as difficult as it may seem. It all comes down to her mindset. Carol Dweck’s research found that when students possessed a growth mindset; a mindset which perceives a challenge as an opportunity to learn, rather than an obstacle to overcome, they responded with constructive thoughts and their behavior showed persistence, rather than defeat.

Throughout life we are afforded endless opportunities to expand our scope of what is possible. By adopting a passionate curiosity for learning and a willingness to see the good in everything, we empower ourselves to grow through our struggles, instead of being at the mercy of them.

The reality is that our greatest growth occurs by going through challenging times that test our resilience. In the words of Napoleon Hill, “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”

4. Live Your Truth

Your truth is rooted in your belief system. If your words aren’t in alignment with your actions, this will manifest itself as an imbalance in your emotional centre, causing you to feel powerless. When we live from a place of powerlessness, we become victims of our own minds.

A victor lives their truth. This is a woman who unapologetically embraces who she is and what she stands for. In essence, she has a strong sense of self that empowers her to make decisions, with grace and dignity. People who live authentically will naturally perceive life as more meaningful, than will those who do not.

When you live in your truth, you free yourself to be the confident, strong woman that you are. Are you ready to live from this place? Don’t be a victim, be a victor. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  

You were born to thrive, not merely survive. Overcoming victim mentality is just one more hurdle that you are going rise above. Take responsibility for your awesomeness and become the best version of yourself. The world is waiting.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

© 2024
error

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

Follow by Email
Facebook
Facebook
Twitter