Motivation

Ashley talks about 5 ways to heal from a narcissistic relationship

Are You In A Narcissistic Relationship? How To Break Free From An Energy Vampire And Heal Your Heart

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Are you in a narcissistic relationship? If so, now is the time to get out.

A narcissist is someone who exaggerates his or her achievements or talents, requires constant admiration, has the inability to recognize the needs of others, and uses people for his or her own gain.

In my personal experience, being with one makes you lose your sense of self, to the point where you question everything about who you are as a human being.

Luckily, I was able to find my wings again, and so can you.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Healing from a narcissistic relationship is a process.

It’s hard to walk away from a narcissist. I’ve been there. I was a victim of a narcissistic relationship pattern for 7 years. It’s fair to say that I was addicted to the relationship, to the point where I thought I was nothing without him. That’s what a narcissist makes you believe.

He strung me along with intermittent levels of false hope. My guy liked to mix in loving words and beautiful acts of kindness with cutting-edge remarks about why I wasn’t good enough. He made me believe that if I behaved in the “ideal fashion,” that he would love me for me. What a lie that ended up being.

To this day, I’m still embarrassed by how weak I was. Why couldn’t I have just been strong enough to stand up for myself? How could I have let someone hurt me so badly? These stories played out in my head, on repeat.

After years of learning and unlearning about this disease, I now know why I felt so helpless and lacking in control for all those years. I’ve forgiven myself. It’s okay that I stayed for so long. I wasn’t informed. As they say, you’ve got to go through it to get to the end of it. That’s exactly what I did.

I sat with my pain and worked through the shame, guilt, and heartbreak. Over time, I understood what it meant to be an empath and how I could protect my energy moving forward. I always knew that I would get through it one day.

This required remembering who the real Ashley was, pre-narcissistic relationship.

Ask any empath and they will tell you about their experience with a narcissist, and the toll that it took on their life. An empath is a giver, while a narcissist is a taker. The combination is an addictive disaster waiting to happen. Narcissists LOVE empaths. They pray on them and latch onto their loving, soft and gentle nature. Doing so feeds their ego, leaving the empath feeling like he/she has done something wrong.

In their search to fix the other person and see the good in everyone, the empath slowly loses themselves in this twisted love affair to the point where their energy is sucked away. They become mentally and emotionally exhausted, to the point where you lose themselves.

In many relationships that come to a close, once people’s psychological immune system has kicked in, there comes a moment of detachment. There is a feeling of being ready to let go and start fresh. This never happens in a narcissistic relationship.

Instead, there is a feeling of being shocked, to the point where everything that you knew about your connection to the person is gone. Oftentimes, the empath falls into the trap of thinking ruminative thoughts, to the point where they think everything was their fault.

You don’t have to feel powerless for one moment longer. Trust that healing will make you a more whole, aware, cohesive and self-loving person. After all, you’ve always deserved a warm and healthy relationship.

Here are 5 ways to heal from a narcissistic relationship.

1. Cut off All Communication with Your Ex

This is the one piece of advice that I didn’t listen to. I firmly believe that it was the primary reason why my pain lasted so much longer than it should have. A narcissist will always try to suck you back into their web of lies and deception.

They are skilled at catching you off guard, giving false promises, and projecting their emotional baggage onto you. The only way to rid yourself of this toxicity is to remove yourself from the equation. This is the moment at which you take back your power. You feel it in your soul.

Block the narcissist from all forms of communication. Whatever you need to do in order to start the process of getting yourself back. You will know when you have hit your emotional threshold. It will be the point at which you are ready to create healthy boundaries.

2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

I have found that the only way of getting through the healing process is to be open to the grieving process. Breaking free from a narcissist will require that you go through the five stages of grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

It’s not a linear experience for everyone. Some people get stuck in denial for years, while others struggle to move past anger. I encourage you to feel everything. Don’t hold back. Emotions, both good and bad, are there for a reason. I found my biggest challenge to be grieving the woman that I left behind, prior to my narcissistic relationship.

As you shift from a state of confusion to clarity, it might feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable to experience the kind of calm that you are supposed to have in the first place. However, in due time, you will find yourself transforming into an even better version of yourself than you were before the pain. Don’t give up.

3. Accept and Forgive Yourself

Admitting that you are in love with a narcissist isn’t easy. As hard as the situation may be, the first step to healing is to accept that you are or were in a relationship with one. You didn’t cause this train wreck of emotions. It’s not your fault.

In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz, “When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows.”

As you begin the process of deconstructing what transpired, you will see that blaming yourself just doesn’t make sense. Recognize that you were in a relationship with someone that is not only sick but also not deserving of your time and energy.

Yes, you chose to be with this person and you fought hard to make it work, but it’s time to walk away. You’ve got to recognize that charm and persuasion are the top personality traits of a narcissist. They are captivating. It feels good to have someone promise you the world, look into your eyes and tell you how amazing you are. That is until they drag you through the mud one minute later.

Educate yourself about narcissism. Read books, listen to a podcast, take a course, anything that will give you more clarity about this disease. As you do, you will realize that there is nothing you could have done.

4. Cleanse Your Mind, Body, and Soul

Once you’ve rid yourself of a narcissist, now it’s time to remove the toxicity of them from your system. The best thing that you can do is externalize your present state. Journal about your experience, seek out a therapist or coach or talk to a friend who has been in your shoes. Even better, create a support group. There are so many women out there who have fallen victim to a narcissist.

I have found that one of the most powerful ways to help clear the mind and body of toxic energy is through a powerful movement practice that allows you to sweat and release. Things like dance, yoga, and deep breathing exercises provide you with the opportunity to find your way back to yourself. Move the stale energy in your body by reigniting the fire that lies dormant inside of you. Extreme self-care is the name of the game.

5. Reignite Your Passions

A critical step in regaining your sense of self is to reignite your passions and embrace the newness of things. Doing so allows you to shift out of victim mentality and become a victor again.

Research shows that changing your environment enhances your mindfulness. Trying new things builds new neuropathways in your brain, which allows you to shift your focus from the hurtful past to the exciting future, on impulse.

Even though I felt like curling in a ball and crying most days, I forced myself to focus on work that was meaningful and that brought me joy. Doing so helped accelerate my healing process. By consciously stopping myself from dwelling on the past, I was able to catapult myself towards the future. Was it easy? Hell no.

There were many days when I would revert back to old patterns of thinking. Whenever I did this, I would actively redirect my energy to the positive aspects of my life that I was proud of. Do what you love with whom you love. Trust me when I say that it makes the emotional blows so much easier to handle.

 Life after a narcissistic relationship is possible if you ready to let go.

If you find yourself in a co-dependent relationship with a narcissist, the best solution is to leave. It was never your job to fix anyone. Instead, focus on loving yourself and the rest will fall into place.

As someone once said, “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

Now is the time to walk away from this toxic energy and put back together the pieces of your broken heart. Are you ready?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley talks about 6 reasons why rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you

5 Reasons Why Hitting Rock Bottom Is The Best Thing That Can Ever Happen To You

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Hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you.

Upon first glance, this statement makes zero sense, but hear me out. Sometimes you need to hit your emotional threshold and lose everything in order to realize that you are ready to change your life.

If you don’t try to rise up after hitting rock bottom, then it is likely that you will remain there forever. Trust me when I say that this is nowhere that you want to be.

In the words of Michelle Parsons, “Hitting rock bottom doesn’t mean that you have to stay there.” Are you ready to learn 5 reasons why rock bottom is the foundation upon which you can rebuild your life?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

When you hit rock bottom, you know.

You can feel it in your entire body. At least that’s how it presented for me when my life crumbled before my eyes. It started with a life-threatening car accident that left me in the hospital with a broken back. At that moment, my entire life changed. The doctors told me that I may never be able to walk again and that the best thing that I could do was adjust to my new reality.

I felt broken, but there was something inside of me that kept saying, “Don’t give up.” That’s exactly what I didn’t do. Rock bottom was the place from which I found my wings again, but I had to create that reality.

Life presented me with the challenge, which I saw as an opportunity to take my life to another level. This is supported by research from the University of Notre Dame found that bottoming out can be a catalyst for personal transformation.

Let’s face it… life doesn’t always care about our plans. Situations can get out of control. In life, you will be faced with dark times that test your resilience. The great news is that you do not have to stay at the bottom. Just as fast as you fall, you can slowly start the climb back to awesomeness. Do whatever it takes to succeed.

Challenges are nothing more than lessons to be learned. When you know how to use them to your advantage, you win no matter what. I’ve always believed that there is only one way out of fear and sadness, and that is going through it. This mindset has served me well.

Here are 5 reasons why hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can ever happen to you.

1. You Reinvent Yourself

Rock bottom provides you with an opportunity to reinvent yourself and reassess everything in your life: your job, your family, your goals, and/or your dreams. Are there changes you need to make? Are there things you kept putting off that hinder you from reaching your potential?

A rock-bottom situation gives you a clean slate, allowing you a new lot on life. You are forced to let go of the past go, start fresh and become a newer, more badass version of your current self.

When I’ve been at my lowest moments in life, I’ve been forced to go inward and engage in a careful process of introspection about who I am and what’s important to me. Almost losing my ability to walk was a game changer for me.

By getting through those difficult times, I felt like I had been given a second chance on life. In many ways, it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it brought me into the world of yoga, which ended up saving my life. Everything happens for a reason. Believe it.

2. You Become More Compassionate Towards Others

During distressing times, it’s easy to become selfish and insensitive to the needs of others. Focusing on yourself and your problems becomes a top priority. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take care of yourself, but it’s important to take a look at the bigger picture.

Pain is pain, no matter how you look at it. All of us are going through something, big and small. There is one thing that I know for sure… there will always be someone else that has it worse off than you.

When you hit rock bottom, you feel everything, and in doing so, you become more in tune to the feelings of others. makes us more empathic towards others. You begin to understand what it’s like for people who are struggling with pain, fear, and shame.

By putting yourself in others’ shoes, you will naturally be inclined to support others, knowing that we all in this together. If you can help someone find light amidst the dark times, you will feel fulfilled beyond belief.

3. You Become More Resilient

Once you’ve risen from the ashes, you will look forward to the future with a stronger resolve to make it better. At the heart of resilience is a belief in oneself—yet also a belief in something larger than oneself. Resilient people are brave, wise, and fearless. That is what you are.

Overcoming obstacles and challenges will only boost your confidence and strengthen your willpower, proving that there is nothing that you can’t handle. It doesn’t matter how hard you fall. All that matters is that you get back up again, wipe away your tears and keep pushing forward.

In the words of George S. Patton, “The test of success is not what you do when you are on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” 

4. You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Sometimes you need to shake things up and hit rock bottom in order to transform your life. At first, everything may seem foreign to you, and that’s OK. This means that you are slowly exiting your comfort zone and entering into a big, new world. Stretching yourself provides opportunities for massive growth. This is where the real magic lies.

What have you always wanted to do that you’ve been too scared to try? Start that online business. Lose that weight. Book that flight. Learn something new, improve your skills, take on a new hobby, meet new people, explore a new place. By exposing yourself to different ways of thinking, you will learn things about yourself that you never knew before.

Now is the time to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself. Will it be scary? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes. Be open to anything and everything.

5. You Become Grateful For The Dark Times

Think back to some of the worst times in your life. The worst has happened, and yet you are still standing. Not only did you survive, but you thrived through it.

Once you have conquered the unthinkable, you become more grateful for the simple things in life. You are able to see life’s lessons as gifts that only serve to empower you. The decision to not quit proves that you are capable of anything. What are you grateful for?

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. It’s up to you to find it.

Sometimes you’ve got to lose everything in order to find yourself again. Life will shit on your parade. That’s a fact. It’s up to you how you will respond. No matter how bad things get, don’t ever give up on yourself. When you are at the bottom, you can’t go any further down. The only way is up.

In the words of Justin Kanayurak,  “Once you hit rock bottom, that’s where you perfectly stand; That’s your chance of restarting, but restarting the right way.” Are you ready to start climbing?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery guidebook!

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Thank you so much for your support. If you have yet to leave a rating or review, please let me one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares 3 ways that you can stop being a perfectionist procrastinator

Stop Being A Perfectionist Procrastinator: 3 Ways To Conquer Perfectionism

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Perfectionist procrastinator. Does this define you? If so, you are killing your productivity.

Perfectionism slaps you in the face, drains your time, and leaves you feeling depleted, overwhelmed and frustrated beyond belief. It is the enemy of everything. People often confuse perfectionism with high achievement, but there is a very big difference between the two.

Thomas S. Greenspon, a psychologist, and author of a recent paper on the antidote of perfectionism says that “Perfectionistic people typically believe that they can never be good enough, that mistakes are signs of personal flaws, and that the only route to acceptability as a person is to be perfect.”

It begs the question, “When is good enough, enough?” To a perfectionist, the answer is, “Never”. If you want to lead a happy, successful and resilient life, you need to learn how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator. Are you ready to free yourself from the enemy of progress and productivity?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Are you ready to learn how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator?

This is a tough pill for many of us to swallow. Why? Because a lot of people have been conditioned to believe that perfection equals success, but it doesn’t, and I know because I’ve struggled with perfectionism my entire life.

In the words of Leo Buscaglia, “Some of the biggest problems arise when we begin to believe that we are perfect or the world around us should be perfect.”

Who am I kidding…I still struggle. If I’m not going above and beyond, if I’m not achieving and doing more, and if I’m not the best at what I do, I’m not enough. That’s hard to say out loud, but it’s what my inner critic tells me, and when she is in the driver’s seat, my perfection kicks into full gear.

I hate to break it to you, but perfectionism and lack of self-worth go hand-in-hand. 

Dr. Brené Brown, vulnerability researcher, and storyteller once said, “People who are walking around as perfectionists are ultimately afraid that the world is going to see them for who they really are and [that] they won’t measure up.” YES. Can you relate? I sure as hell can.

In our desire to be loved and accepted by others, we people please in our hopes to be seen. There is a lack of security in one’s own abilities and awesomeness. In this place, self-doubt reigns supreme. Nobody can maintain impossible standards of perfection because it is an illusion.

When people can’t accept this reality, that’s when all hell breaks loose, which can manifest itself as burnout, anxiety and overwhelm. Research has suggested that anxiety over making mistakes may ultimately be holding some perfectionists back from ever achieving success in the first place. 

Let’s explore 3 ways that you can stop being a perfectionist procrastinator.

1. Practice Imperfection

If you are a perfectionist procrastinator, you understand what I mean when I say that perfectionism is a productivity killer. By intentionally practicing doing things in an imperfect way, you will slowly become more comfortable with accepting that good enough IS good enough.

Martin M. Antony, a professor of psychology and co-author of When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, suggests that you can overcome your perfectionism by practicing imperfect acts. This takes practice and patience, but over time, you will notice how good it feels to not be so attached to perfection.

As the old adage goes, “Practice makes perfect”, so start messing up and see how it feels! This is how to stop being a perfectionist.

2. Change How You Set Goals

Perfectionist procrastinators love to set ridiculously large, unattainable goals that leave them feeling overwhelmed. As you can imagine, they rarely achieve them because they consumed themselves with doing everything perfectly.

When it comes to setting goals, the only person who you have control over is yourself. You can’t predict anything else. Make sure that the goals that you are setting are actually within your locus of control. If not, it’s time to set new goals.

If you are a perfectionist procrastinator, you need to learn how to trust the process, and not get so hung up on the end result. This will help you enjoy the journey of becoming who you desire to be. Part of loving yourself is being able to acknowledge what it is that you need.

3.Think of Mistakes As Life Lessons

A lot of perfectionist procrastinators have a fear of failure, which is why they are constantly pushing themselves to be the best because if they aren’t, they think they’ve failed at life. If you base your life on fear, you will never be able to move forward.

Reframe what it means to make mistakes. Instead of seeing them as signs that you aren’t good enough, view them as life lessons that are giving you the opportunity to learn and grow.

These are 3 ways for how to stop being a perfectionist procrastinator.

I encourage you to stop trying to be perfect and embrace who you are. Nobody is perfect. That is what makes us so beautiful. When we accept and love ourselves just as we are, we longer strive to pursue perfection. Instead, a transformation of any kind becomes a journey that is built on self-love.

If you want to master adversity, don’t let perfectionism control your life. In the words of Shannon Alder, “There is no perfection. Only beautiful versions of brokenness.” You were born to be real, not perfect.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares a step-by-step guide for how to be proactive in the face of adversity and answers the question, "what does it mean to be proactive?"

What Does It Mean To Be Proactive: A Guide To Mastering Adversity

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What does it mean to be proactive? If you want to master adversity, you need to know.

The fact of the matter is that nobody is going to save you. It’s your job to transform setbacks into successes. Whether or not you want to accept it, challenges are a normal part of life. What matters most is how you respond to those challenges.

When adversity strikes, a reactive person curls into a ball, blames the world for their problems and says, “Why me?”

Conversely, a proactive person rides the tides of change, takes responsibility for their life, and says, “Why not me?” Instead of reacting to life’s blows and letting life happen to them, they take control and constantly look for ways to transform their pain into possibilities.

Are you ready to learn how to be proactive in the face of adversity? Let’s dive in!

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen To My Podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

What does it mean to be proactive?

Stephen Covey first popularized the concept of proactivity in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. In this book, he points out that your life doesn’t just magically happen. Rather, it is carefully crafted by the decisions that you make. This is your life, which means that you have the freedom to respond in whatever way you see fit.

When you know how to be proactive, you are always ready for the unexpected.

From time to time, all of us encounter challenges in life that leave us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and lost. However, in these moments, we have a choice.  We can either master our emotions and take action to change our circumstances for the better, or we can play the victim.

The good news is that being proactive is a skill that you can develop and strengthen. It comes down to shifting your mindset and noticing the point at which you are starting to fall into reactive mode. It is at this moment that you have a choice, to either reframe a situation in a more positive light or lose yourself in adversity.

In the words of Stephen Covey himself, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

Don’t get down on yourself if you derail from time to time. We are all human and we make mistakes, but the trick is to not make it a habit. 

What does it mean to be proactive? Let’s explore 3 ways that you can learn how to be proactive instead of reactive when the life doesn’t go your way.

1. Pay Attention To How You Talk To Yourself 

What does your inner dialogue sound like? If it’s negative, you are sabotaging yourself. Our inner critics feed off of negativity and low self-esteem. If you are constantly telling yourself that you can’t do something or that you aren’t strong enough, guess what? That’s exactly what you are going to get.

The Universe gives us what we ask for, which is why we need to be so careful how to talk to ourselves. Words are powerful, and so are the meanings behind them.

Shifting your mindset doesn’t happen overnight, but I’m a big believer that when we condition our mind for positivity, we become addicted to success. The voice inside of your head doesn’t have to be your worst enemy.

Meet your critic where she is and observe what she is saying and why she is saying it. At the end of the day, you know way more than she does. Stop beating yourself up and trust that you have everything that you need inside of you to master adversity.

2. Look For Solutions

If you want to get yourself out of rough waters, you need to find an anchor, and that anchor is YOU. The people that are able to thrive through setbacks and become more as a result of them are the ones that look for solutions, rather than dwelling on problems.

Solving any problem is impossible if you only focus on the negative. Shift your perspective. What can you learn from adversity and how you can leverage it to grow and expand yourself?

Sometimes the only way to move forward and get yourself out of a rut is to forgive yourself and others. Once you free yourself from the emotional baggage that problems tend to create, you make room for your rational brain to take over and find a solution.

Proactive people are masters at problem-solving. They have a disposition towards taking intentional action to influence their situation and environment, whereas reactive people tend to fester in their shit and go in circles, never making any progress.

3. Focus On What You Can Control  

If you obsess about the things that you can’t control, you are setting yourself up for failure. The fact of the matter is that the only thing that we have control over is ourselves. We can’t predict how other people are going to act or what life is going to throw us.

Reactive people spend their time worrying about all of the outcomes that are beyond their locus of control, which makes them feel helpless, whereas proactive people have the discipline to keep moving forward, even when nothing feels certain, knowing that everything will work out. This optimistic mindset sets them up for success.

All that we can do is learn how to master our emotional center and respond in a way that serves our highest self. We can’t always control the outcome, but we can influence it in our favor. Research shows that the best route to top performance is to focus on what you can control and ignore what you can’t. This is how to be proactive.

Steve Maraboli said it best – “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

4. Take Massive Action 

Don’t just sit on the sidelines and wait for life to happen to you. That is a recipe for disaster. Proactive people rise up, unleash their inner badass and take massive action to change a situation that no longer serves them.

Do you want to be proactive and become addicted to success? If so, the only way to do it is to do something! When you make the choice to consciously create your reality, every day, and I promise that you will become stronger, and will find yourself growing in ways that you never thought were possible.

What does it mean to be proactive?

Hopefully, after reading this blog post, you have a better idea and are ready to start being proactive.

Being proactive means that you are constantly seeking solutions and striving to become more. whereas being reactive means that you resist change, dwell on the negative and take minimal action in the face of challenges. Which path will you take?

In order to create change, we must know how to be proactive and take responsibility for our lives. Don’t wait for life to happen to you.

Choose happiness. Choose success. Choose inner strength. You’ve got what it takes. Are you ready?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares 5 reasons why it is important to trust the process of life

Trust The Process, No Matter How Difficult It Is

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Do you trust the process of life? If you want to reach your desired destination, you need to surrender to the process, no matter how difficult it is.

When we allow life to reveal itself to us, we live in the present moment, knowing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Unfortunately, a lot of people jump too far forward. In their desire to reach their final destination, they forget about the journey, but this is where the magic lies.

Unfortunately, life and comfort don’t co-exist. In today’s world, nothing is permanent, and at any moment life could throw you a curveball that could change the game. When you trust the process, you accept and have faith in the unknown. You step outside of your comfort zone and allow life to guide you along your journey.

Let go of fear and stop trying to control life. As Emmanuel Teney says, “As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.” Are you ready to believe in yourself and trust the process?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

What is stopping you from trusting the process?

Fear can play a large role. A lot of people don’t like to trust the process because they fear that it’s not going to lead them down the path that they want. If they don’t see results fast enough, they get discouraged and give up altogether. People look too far forward and obsess about the end result, but what about the small milestones that you need to take in order to reach your final destination?

Let’s explore 4 ways that you can trust the process of life.

1. Be Resilient 

When faced with adversity, it can be difficult to trust the process. Thoughts of, “Why me” may surface, causing you to doubt your ability to move forward. This is the moment at which you need to thought stop. Why not you?? Life happens to all of us, and it’s our responsibility to either rise above our circumstances, or give up.

If you believe that everything is in your control, drop that story now. Change is the only constant. Resilient people surrender to uncertainty. They understand that we have very little control over what happens in life, and by adopting this mindset, they have trust in the process.

2. Embrace The Unknown 

Humans dislike ambiguity of any kind. Anything that doesn’t feel safe, stable, and comfortable feels dangerous. The fact of the matter is that we don’t know what life will throw us, but if we embrace the unknown and get comfortable being uncomfortable, we will be better prepared for anything.

In his book, Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing, Jamie Holmes explore the notion that people have an impulse to want to understand, reach conclusions, and take control. However, if we want to grow, both personally and professionally, we need to act confidently in the face of the unknown.

There are no guarantees in life. Don’t predict the future. Rather, focus on what you can control, which is the present moment. When you do so, you will be creating your life, moment by moment, with zero attachments to what could be.

3. Focus On Your Purpose 

When in doubt, focus on your purpose. Trusting the process is about accepting that hardships will happen along your journey to success, but having confidence that every lesson is bringing you one step closer to fulfilling your purpose in life. Whether you want to believe it or not, failure is a good thing. It is proof that you are trying.

When you commit to being persistent and carrying on, despite the odds, the Universe will reward you. I encourage you to adopt a positive mindset and find ways to appreciate every experience, both good and bad, that is bringing you one step closer to embodying your purpose. In the words of Andrea Dykstra, “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.”

4. Practice Gratitude 

Our perspective on life dictates the thoughts that we feel and the decisions that we make. The other day I found myself dwelling upon regrets, which left me feeling depleted and anxious. As a result, I wasn’t able to focus on the good that I was creating in the present moment.

It only took me a minute to snap out of my ruminative thoughts when I found out that my dear friend had just lost her Dad to cancer. At that moment, I found perspective and felt a deep sense of gratitude for my life. It allowed me to stop dwelling on what I couldn’t change and to remember how blessed I am. 

Feeling grateful has been associated with less frequent negative emotions and thoughts, more frequent positive emotions and thoughts, greater meaning in life, more positive coping, a greater appreciation of life. Life is so short. If you are fortunate enough to have freedom and safety, be grateful and conscious of when you slip off track and let your inner critic get the best of you.

Once you trust the process, your path in life becomes clear.

Life is tough, but so are you, darling. When you learn to trust the process and have gratitude for how far you’ve come, you get massively rewarded. Why are you trying to go anywhere else, other than where you currently are? Learn to fall in love with the here and now, knowing that life is going to give you exactly what you need if you are brave enough to ask for it. In the words of Robert Tew, “Trust the process. You will discover a lot about yourself through hardship.”

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares the reasons why change is inevitable and how you can master change so that you can master your life

Change Is Inevitable: Are You Ready To Jump On The Change Train?

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Change is inevitable. If you try to run from it, it will find you.

In today’s world, change is the only constant, which is why I encourage you to hold on tight and learn how to embrace the ups and downs of life. Unfortunately a lot of people fear change, which ends up limiting their potential.

It’s a lot easier to hang out in a bubble of comfort than it is to throw yourself into the unknown, but change is necessary for growth. If you want to become more, you need to be open to learning, to embracing the new, and doing the impossible.

Change is inevitable, so the best thing that you can do is plan for it. In the words of Socrates, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” When you master change, you master your life. Are you ready to jump on the change train?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Change is inevitable. Are you ready for it?

If not, don’t panic. As human beings, we are creatures of habit, which means that we like things that make us feel safe and secure. 

Research shows that the motivation behind much of our behaviour is driven by the desire to minimise threat and maximise reward. Change does not fit into this category, so when it show up and tries to shake up our bubble of comfort, we get stressed, anxious and fearful. 

Change affects everyone differently, and it shows up in two different forms – external and internal. External change could be moving to a new city, having a baby, losing a job, or on the more scarier end of the spectrum, losing a loved one or being in an accident. Our internal attitude towards change will determine how we deal with it.

What freaks you out about change? For myself, it’s the fear of having to step out of my comfort zone. One review of 129 behavior change studies found that the consistently least effective change strategies hinged on fear and regret, proving that real, lasting change needs to be perceived as positive in order for us to buy into it.

Life in a comfort zone is easy breezy, which is why it’s SO hard to leave it, but if you want to become more, you need to break free. When you dive, head first, into the world and do something new, your whole perspective changes. Take the leap. Trust me when I say that it’s worth it.

At the end of the day, if you want to lead a resilient life, you need to master change, because change is inevitable. Our world will continue to demand that we adapt and be flexible to changing circumstances, so we need to embrace the fluidity of it. 

Let’s be real. Change can really suck, but there is always a silver lining to it, even when you are in the emotional trenches of it and feel like throwing in the towel. I believe that change makes you strong, and I know this firsthand. I’ve been dealt some shitty blows in life, and although I couldn’t see it at the time, the setbacks I’ve lived through have shaped me into the resilient woman that I am today.

If you were never forced into uncomfortable situations, you would never have your strength tested and overcome the things you never thought were possible. Oftentimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit for how strong we really are, until we are faced with something that shakes our entire core. Who you are, and how you show up for yourself during the toughest times of your life, reveals your resilience.

I share Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s viewpoint on strength when she says that, “The most beautiful people I have met are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, humility and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not come out of nowhere. “

Once you accept that change is an inevitable part of life, the impossible becomes possible.

Like any habit, embracing change doesn’t happen overnight. The trick is learning that change is a process, not an event. Be fluid with the highs and lows and learn how to ride the rollercoaster of life with your eyes open. If you need to scream, do it. If your heart pounds, breathe through it. If you need something to hold onto, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

At the end of the day, we are all in this together. Whether you like it or not, change will happen. We might as well embrace the unknown together.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley describes how you can become the CEO of your life and step into your power

Become The CEO Of Your Life: 3 Ways To Show Life Who Is Boss

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Become the CEO of your life. Whether you like it nor not, you are 100% responsible for your happiness and success. 

Being the CEO of your life means that you are living life, on your terms. Unfortunately a lot of people give up this privilege and take a back seat to their lives. Step back and ask yourself, “Would you hire YOU to be the CEO of your life?” If not, it’s time to make a change.

Boss up, believe in yourself, and take control of your destiny because the world needs you. In the words of John Wooden, “The most powerful leadership tool that you have is your own personal example.” Are you ready to become the CEO of your life? 

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen to Podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

As the CEO of your life, YOU determine your success.

Nobody is going to wave a magic wand and make shit happen for you. As the CEO of your life, you need to take charge and demand your own results. Sometimes this means acknowledging the thoughts that you think. You determine your reality, which means that you need to be mindful of your emotional state. You can do anything in life, IF you think you can.

Unfortunately many people have self-limiting beliefs that keep them from stepping into their power. In his book, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the negative thoughts that are reactionary, in nature. When your inner critic comes up, you need to show her who is boss. Why? Because you are the CEO of your life, and a leader knows how to effectively manage their emotional state, at all times. 

Here are 3 ways that you can show life who is boss and redesign your ‘life brand’:

1. Take Responsibility For Your Life 

Being the CEO of your life means that you take responsibility for everything that happens to you, both the good and the bad. You can’t blame anyone for what happens to you. The only thing that you have control over is yourself and your emotional reactions.

Shit happens. How do you handle it? Do you play the victim and blame the word for your problems, or do you rise up, take ownership and make a change? It’s easy to assume that our situation or someone else is responsible for keeping us from achieving the life we want, but this is far from true.

Make a commitment to take responsibility for your life and your decisions. Research has found that when people commit to something, their desire to be seen as “consistent” drives them to act according to the commitment they’ve made. You were not born for mediocrity. Rather, you were born to shine.

2. Create A Vision For Your Life 

Just like the CEO of a company has a vision and mission that he operates by, you need a vision and for your life. It starts with identifying what is important to you. If you don’t have a map for where you want to go in life, how do you expect to ever get to your destination? You need something that will help illuminate your life path when life weighs you down.

You are far more likely to succeed in life if you have a strong vision. I encourage you to write a vision statement for your life. What is your purpose? What would your ideal life look like? How do you want to contribute to the world?

Get crystal clear on what you want your future to look like and then start taking action to make your dreams a reality. Life is all about creating yourself, so as Robert H. Schuller once said, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”  Dream insanely big. Life is to short not to.

3. Ask Yourself Empowering Questions 

Questions can have a powerful impact on how you move throughout your life. As the CEO of your life, it is your job to ask yourself empowering questions, because this is what opens up the doors to limitless possibilities and opportunities for you to become more.

What you focus on, becomes your reality. When you train your brain to focus on possibilities and solutions, and ask yourself questions like, “”Why is my life so amazing?” or “What am I grateful for today?”, you immediately start creating the path to living a more resilient life.

Are you ready to become the CEO of your life?

Don’t let other people take control of your life. Don’t follow the leader. Rather, BE the leader. Pave your own path, and leave hints of glitter in your tracks. The world needs you, so take charge, and pursue your path with passion, determination and persistence.

In the words of John Wooden, “The most powerful leadership tool that you have is your own personal example.” Are you ready to boss up, fulfil your true potential and step into your power?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley shares strategies for how to build resilience in times of change

How To Build Resilience In Times Of Change

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Are you ready to learn how to build resilience in times of change? If you aren’t on the change train, it’s time to jump on board.

In today’s world, the only thing that we can be sure of is change itself. The world is moving at a rapid rate, and if you don’t move with it, you are going to get left behind. Have you ever wondered why it is that some people bounce forward from adversity, while others fall apart? It comes down to resilience.

As a character trait, resilience refers to one’s ability to successfully adapt with ease to life’s challenges,  and transform meltdowns into milestones. Life throws us as a lot of curve balls, but we have the power to rise above our challenges. It all starts with our mindset.

Resilience is not a rare ability. Anyone can build it, and I’m here to show you how. Are you ready to learn how you can build resilience in times of change, and transform your challenges into successes?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Listen to Podcast)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

The most successful people have learned how to build resilience.

Resilience is what separates the successful from the defeated. University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth suggests “that it’s resilience, not IQ, that is the best predictor of success.”  Keep in mind that success doesn’t come easy. Oftentimes, the greatest stepping stone to success is failure.

A resilient person doesn’t shy away in the face of setbacks. They view them as opportunities to grow and become more. When they get knocked down, they bounce back up, which allows them to thrive, no matter what circumstance they are faced with.

It’s easy to think that people like this were born with this type of strength, but this is far from true. Resilience can be conditioned, with consistent practice.

Let’s explore 4 ways for how to build resilience in times of change.

1. Be Insanely Positive

A resilient person works through challenges by harnessing the power of positive emotions. They are able to reframe adversity into something that is positive, making their recovery time a lot shorter.

Several research methodologies indicate that resilient individuals have optimistic, zestful, and energetic approaches to life, are curious and open to new experiences, and are characterized by high positive emotionality.

When shit hits the fan, it’s easy to be negative and play the ‘why me’ game, but try to see the silver lining in everything. You may surprise yourself how much more calm you feel in the face of adversity, when you choose to feel emotions like gratitude, hope and optimism.

2. Hang Onto Humor

Laughing in the face of adversity can be extremely healing for the mind, body and soul. It’s not about discrediting. Humor goes hand-in-hand with positivity. It’s really hard to drop into victim mode when you are laughing uncontrollably.

In his book, The Survivor Personality, resilience authority, Al Siebert says that, “Laughing reduces tension to more moderate levels…and psychologically, choosing levity can be incredibly empowering.”

I know that humor has been a key aspect of my healing process. It doesn’t take pain away completely, but it’s a great coping mechanism when you feel as if you are caught in the midst of chaos.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

We all experience difficult times at some point in our lives. That’s a normal part of life. What we don’t all do is have empathy for ourselves when we are in distress. Do you ever feel like it’s so easy to practice compassion for others, but difficult for yourself? We can be so judgmental of ourselves.

However, if you want to learn how to build resilience, the best place to start by being more self-compassionate. Doing so will improve your emotional wellbeing and give you the confidence to rise up and keep moving forward.

Try creating a daily mindfulness practice, like deep breathing, meditation or yoga. This will help you navigate stressful times with a more clear mind. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and if you need to take a break, do it. Honor yourself, knowing that you have everything that you need inside of you to weather any storm.

4. Accept That Change Is Inevitable 

The faster that you learn how to thrive with the waves of change, more resilient you will be. In today’s world, change is the only constant. You can’t stop change from coming. It’s going to come at you, whether you like it or not. If you want to live a successful life, you need to accept that change is a part of life and master it, to the best of your ability. How do you do this?

Prepare for setbacks. Condition your mindset, acknowledge that problems are a normal part of life, and trust that you have what it takes to conquer anything that stands in your way of success.

These are some of the ways for how to build resilience in times of change. 

You have everything that you need in order to be a wildly resilient woman. When life gets tough, pull upon your strength and remember how far you’ve come.

In the words of Steve Maraboli, “Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” Are you ready to grab life by the balls and ride through the highs and lows, with grace and ease?

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

Ashley describes how you can rise above your circumstances and live your life without limits

Rise Above Your Circumstances: How To Live A Life Without Limits

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Rise above your circumstances. Your circumstances don’t define who you are. When you live without limits, you are truly free. Unfortunately, not enough people choose this path. Instead, they stay in their comfort zones, for fear that they will fail.

The fact of the matter is, you are the only thing standing in your way of success. Guess what? Change is scary, but regret is even scarier.

The key to conquering anything that seems impossible to the mind’s eye is an unwavering belief in oneself. We all reach critical points in our lives where our mental toughness is put to the test – a toxic relationship, a lost family member, a bad accident, a financial crisis.

You have the power to turn the impossible into the possible. It all starts and ends in your mind. It is amazing how much you can achieve, IF you put your mind to it. Will it be hard work? Yes. Will you want to give up? Yes. Will it be worth the fight? 100%.

However, you can’t just dip your foot in the ocean of the unknown. You have to dive in, head first. It’s mind blowing what can happen when you choose to not give up. In the words of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Are you ready to rise above your circumstances?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

(Podcast Coming Soon)

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Everything that you want to accomplish in life starts in your mind. Your mind is a powerful tool. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I was pleasantly reminded of this the other day while I was having a conversation with a friend, who suggested that maybe I shouldn’t teach yoga dance anymore because it’s too straining on my neck/back injuries.

In her words, “Maybe it would be best to accept my limits and do something that wasn’t so challenging for my body.” I cringed in disbelief.

Quickly my anxious mind jumped into the conversation and agreed with her, telling me all the reasons why I wasn’t strong enough to do the very thing that I loved most – empowering women to confidently step out of their comfort zones, and into their badass power, both on and off the mat.

I was reminded of a quote by Steve Maraboli who said, “I can’t”… “It’s not possible”… “I’m not good enough”… ~ These are lies the demons of your past use to scare away the possibilities of the present.”

Rise above your circumstances. It’s the only way to live.

At that point, I smiled sarcastically at her and said, “Nah, I think I’ll continue showing up for myself, being awesome, and doing what I love.” 

Sure, our bodies have limits, but at the end of the day, your only limit is you and your mind. You can either hang out on the side lines and watch life pass you by, or you can dive in, push yourself, and prove to yourself and the world how fucking limitless you truly are. Make the choice to live without limits and rise above your circumstances in life.

A recent study highlighting the link between mindfulness and resilience found that, “Mindful people can better cope with difficult thoughts and emotions, without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down emotionally.” By stepping back and observing, our mind may resist getting stuck in old stories, thereby empowering us to move forward.

Just like you can train your body, you can train your mind to be more resilient. It all comes down to perception.

You are not defined by your circumstances. Rise above them!

How does it feel when you say these words out loud? Instead of dropping into fear mode when a challenge hits you, try approaching it from a position of excitement.

Is this going to be uncomfortable? Hell yeah, but this is where the magic lies. Any time you are trying something new, you can only grow if you feel awkward and uneasy.

It will spark your intrinsic motivation, and light a fire under your ass that will put you into a state of optimal flow. In fact, flow research demonstrates that flow happens when we are sufficiently challenged and work at the edge of our skill level.

When is the last time you went above and beyond your limits and did something that tested every bone in your body? Whatever challenge you are currently facing in life, you are strong enough to rise above the shit that is trying to hold you down.

Dwelling on the “what if’s” and having a pity party won’t help. Trust me. I’ve done it, and it only leaves you feeling stuck. It all comes down to pushing through your mental blocks and knowing that your only limit is you.

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do. Rise above your circumstances. In the words of the late great Muhammad Ali, “Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” Now is the time to go show the world that the word, “impossible” does not exist in your vocabulary. 

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

 

Ashley gives 3 tips for how to cure the disease to please and start making yourself a priority

The Disease To Please: Is There A Cure?

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The disease to please. It’s the real deal. If you’ve got it, the good news is that there is a cure, but it all starts with you. At times, it can be sickening how far we will go to do things for others, at the expense of our own personal health and well-being.

I’ve been a victim of the disease to please. Have you? In our deep-seated desire to make others happy, we end up putting our own self-care and priorities on the sidelines, as if they don’t matter as much. When you allow someone to walk all over you, you become a human doormat.

Are you ready to stop being someone else’s doormat and start making your needs a priority? In the words of Lysa Terkeurst, “We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please.”

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

By nature, women are nurturers. Built into our DNA is a desire to help others. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to show compassion and love to people, but there is a big difference between people pleasing and serving others. Jessica Turner, the author of The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You, surveyed over 2,000 women for her book. Among other things, she asked her participants to describe the hardest part of being a woman. The common theme? Being everything to everyone. Are you surprised? I’m not.

The disease to please is rampant.

According to Dr. Susan Newman, people pleasers want everyone around them to be happy. And they will do whatever it takes to keep them that way. It’s great that you want to help others, BUT you need to know when to stop. This is where people get stuck. People pleasing behavior is rooted in a desire for self-acceptance and validation from others.

The rationale is that if I bend over backwards to do this for him or her, they will like me and know that I’m a good person, and in turn, will do nice things for me as well. However, basing your self-worth on what others think of us is a toxic and slippery slope, and one that won’t get you anywhere.

I hate to break it to you but when you don’t feel worthy about yourself, the easy alternative is to feel a sense of significance from helping others. The best way to take back control of your life is to shift your mindset and engage in actions that honor your needs, so that you can rid yourself of people pleasing patterns once and for all. Here are 3 ways that you can drop the disease to please, stop being a human doormat, and take back control of your life:

1. Say “No” More Often

People pleasers never say “no”, for fear that they will disappoint others, and in turn, lose their friendships. Regardless of whether you want to believe it or not, saying “yes” all the time will only leave you feeling depleted, stressed, and overwhelmed. Start with small no’s and work your way up to bigger ones.

When you finally have the courage to stand up for yourself, notice the massive emotional weight that is lifted off of your shoulders. You are just as important as the people that you are trying to please. Don’t forget it. In the words of Paulo Coehlo, “When you say “yes” to others, make sure that you aren’t saying “no” to yourself.”

2. Listen To Your Gut

If something doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t. As women, we know how true this can be. Why is trusting your gut so powerful? Because your gut never lies. It is the seat of your intuition, and a form of intelligence that allows you to understand and use information that will guide you throughout your life.

In the words of Bruce Kasanoff, “That ‘bad feeling’ gnawing away at you is your intuition telling you that no matter how badly you might wish to talk yourself into this direction, it is the wrong way to go.”  Trust your inner voice and take action from this place.

3. Remove Toxic People

If you have the disease to please, there will always be toxic people who will try to take advantage of you. You are an easy target and a toxic person can smell you from a mile away. Toxic friendships can affect very area of your life, if you allow them to, including your own sanity.

Look at your friends and ask yourself who is holding you back. Ditch anyone that isn’t serving your highest self. If you are a people pleaser, this may feel harsh and selfish, but it’s not. Honoring your needs is healthy. Purge a few toxic people from your life and see how it feels. As you become more assertive and start to set healthy boundaries, your will stop worrying what other people think of you, and you will notice how good it feels to free yourself from these energy vampires.

Drop the disease to please and take back control of your life. Value yourself to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you. It all comes down to knowing your self-worth. You deserve the love and support that you so freely give to others, so stop thinking about what you can give to others, and start focusing on your own needs.

Are you ready to learn how you can get back up when life knocks you on your ass? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free resilience mastery eBook!

Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of my latest video blogs:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog. Much love!

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